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Whats a big problem you are facing? (sopuli.xyz)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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How can you actively prevent it from getting worse—like starting now/today?

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[–] 13 points 1 year ago (4 children)

A lot of people I know are struggling and I don't know how to help them.

They have vaguely asked me for help but they all have difficult problems that I can't do a whole lot about. I know its not necessarily my responsibility to fix things for them but I tend to have a 'fix things' mentality and I get stuck thinking about what I can possibly even do.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Its difficult. Society and community are so fragmented now. People don't want to ask for help. People don't want to give unsolicited help.

    I've got skills and support I can offer. I'm not even asking others for anything. People don't even want to take the offer to give unconditionally. I'll give you a lift......they don't want it. I can help fix things in your house .....they don't want it. Feel free to borrow my tools.....they don't want it. I can look after your kids for a few hours and give you a break, my kids would love to play with them at our house.....they understandably feel anxious about that. No problem, come over yourself with your kids on the weekend, we'll make you lunch, get to know us......they don't want it. You're starting in the same career field that I've progressed in, I've got resources that will help.......they don't want it. I'll share my Jellyfin server.....they don't want it.

    I don't get it. I just want to connect with people and help them......they don't want it.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 year ago

    It’s really hard to accept help sometimes.

    Our family went through the ringer the first half of this year and we had an outpouring of people offering support and help. It’s not that I didn’t need it, I just didn’t think I needed it at the time. Looking back on even 6 months ago, I was pretty dumb for not delegating some things that would have taken a lot off my plate that I didn’t need to deal with at all.

    If you’re in a new place around new people, one way I’ve found that works sometimes is just asking someone for help with something really trivial, but not something that could easily be done yourself. Something that could just use another set of hands. It’s kind of an ice breaker and the other person might feel more inclined to be able to ask for some help next time.

    Anyway, you seem like good people, I wish you were my neighbor. Don’t let people stop you from continuing to be a good person.

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  • [–] -1 points 1 year ago*

    they dont' want help. they just want to complain. and they will actively hate you if you try to help them.

    how do I know? because I've been there a million times. and life is a lot better when you give up trying to help people who are only interested in being miserable.

    the person you should be helping is yourself. invest in yourself, not throwing yoru time and energy away on people who will never give that time and energy back to you. it will leave you miserable and depressed and drained.

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