275
on manosphere and incel culture (media.piefed.social)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
37 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
Screenshot of a post by user "former-incel" on Tumblr. The post discusses how phrases like “you will die alone, no one will ever want you” are used to manipulate and harm people’s self-esteem. It argues that while this phrase is often used by abusive partners against women, the manosphere uses the same tactic on men, especially shorter men and even those of average height by convincing them they’re inherently unlovable. The author compares this to emotional abuse, saying it’s a way to make men dependent on the manosphere for validation and community.
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 4 points 1 year ago (1 child)

20 years back I subscribed to a dating coach's mailing list, Dave somebody. The manosphere is like that dude's evil twin.

He'd tell you it was OK to tease women. Pretty woman are so used to men fawning over them and kissing their ass, a guy that challenges them a bit is novel and interesting. Teasing turned into "insult the shit out of them".

Be decisive. Women don't like wishy-washy men. This turned into "order them around to assert dominance".

He often stressed that he wasn't proposing to tell you how to get laid, only how to get more dates, you take it from there. That turned into "get money, fuck bitches".

It's like they took the guy's material, didn't understand any of it, went off the deep end.

One lesson that really stuck with me all these years; "Attraction is not a choice." No one gets to choose who and what they are attracted to. In the context of dating, "If she's not into you, move on." But it makes sense for all genders and orientations (and kinks!).

Interesting guy, wish I could remember his name. I looked at my past relationships that started strong and later turned sour. In every case, no exceptions, I had started with his advice (not knowing it) and ended doing the sorts of things he said not to do.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
    •
  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago

    Here's a discussion thread about a video that presents aspects of "healthy masculinity" and contrasts them to their "near enemies" - corrupted versions of those same points.

    It basically is going over what you said, how the manosphere takes something like perseverance and changes into stubbornness, assertiveness into dominance, etc.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent