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is it a red flag to make sexual and romantic jokes to others but not your partner or no? (thelemmy.club)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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it might not be, but my recent ex did that with others. she said she found out she was aromantic but while we were dating, didn’t have feelings for me and didn’t make jokes or flirt with me but she would with others.

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[–] 6 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Aromatic means little to no Attraction to others.

But she’s flirting with everybody else, but not with you, she talked about having sex with others. She’s lying. And she’s just using the term aromatic an excuse. And it’s a piss poor one to be honest.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Aromantic and asexual are distinct, but often confused.

    Aromantic/aro: an individual who feels little or no romantic attraction to others. These folks may still have relationships or hookups, but generally don't find those evolving into long-term romantic love or monogamy.

    Asexual/ace: an individual who feels little or no sexual attraction to others. These folks may still have relationships or hookups but generally don't feel a specific drive to engage in sex or other physical intimacy with people.

    Anyone on either of these spectrums can still have relationships of any type, and anyone on either of these spectrums can still be an asshole in those relationships. Aro people generally don't form individual romantic bonds, but unless they're also ace/asexual they are still as sexual as anyone else. As a result, it might appear that they are a bit of a player (sex without long term attachment).

    If she is indeed aro but not ace and is in a monogamous relationship, she's likely not in the best situation for someone with those leanings. It sounds to me like she wants out of the relationship but isn't willing to be honest about it and is trying to get OP to end it.

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