read the sidebar

Science fiction stays fiction. Read the sidebar

(Just a heads up, in case you’re sincere, this story is a joke. I was just playing along by straight manning)

This is a fake news story.

The sidebar explains this. Every story in this Lemmy community is fake news the moderator is apparently generating to intentionally deceive users as perhaps some kind of social experiment they’re doing.

I feel terrible for this poor, lost, lonely child... but I can't believe that he was able to build something like this! This is wild.

Science fiction becomes reality. This was a recent episode of Watson.

As a parent I would be devastated. I read the story out loud to my kids, but I think they thought I was joking.

“He kept saying this word, ‘looksmaxxing,’ and I didn’t even know what it meant,” she said. “I had to look it up. I still can’t believe any of this is real.”

This is, perhaps, the most warranted confusion a parent has ever felt. Could you imagine discovering that your teen has been producing androgens in your garage to escape social stigma, and is potentially dying as a result? People joke about parenting books not preparing you for everything, but this might genuinely require therapy. What do you even do with this information? What's to glean??

and have Karen call the police on me because she doesn't understand things, I think not

Same thing happened to me on another story.

Ahh, that makes sense. I don't tend to check the side bar unless I'm invested in the community.

The sidebar explains this. Every story in this Lemmy community is fake news the moderator is generating to intentionally deceive users. It appears to be some kind of social experiment they're doing.

I can't find any legitimate news about this. Seems to be fake.

There's also your ears and your teeth.

Creative, I'll give them that!

I can't change my eyeballs

I can't change my fingerprints (without harm)

I can't change my dna

biometrics is a horrid security measure and shouldnt be used for anything you ACTUALLY want to be secure.

Nah he's right, free my man he didn't do shit.

Thanks! I feel dumb, but that almost seems the point lol

Everything posted on this community is 100% fabricated

I'd love to stay onsite. Being able to work-sleep-work-sleep-work then go enjoy the rest of my week would be awesome. Ive always wanted to get a job where i can compress the amount I work. I'd do it for 6 months 16hr a day if it ment rest of the year off.

"Yield your freedom of speech so that you can eat better" is not a very good deal for labor.

I mean what happens if you do some shit-talk after work ... are you required to pay it back ?

Is there an article or source this links to? I’d love to show it to my employer

EDIT: Pretty sure I ate the onion. Regardless, people should be paid more.

The Onion doesn't claim to be the Associated Press. This community is something else entirely than satire.

Source link?