oo thanks for the recommendation. I'm gonna get cheap bra pads first but if I like the look I'll try some forms too Thank you sister 💖💖

Vollence breast forms on Amazon are awesome, I own 4 different sizes and wear whatever I feel like on a given day. They're great lol

I have sat with an erection while working on something on my computer for over an hour, not making any real progress on what I'm trying to focus on. I more often than not am arousal free until I go to bed if I take care of it, so I just can't ignore it until it goes away. Fortunately, it only really takes over when I'm idle, but I spend a lot of my time idle lol

The year I was on hrt was also plagued by a dose of cypro that was way too high, so I had absolutely no measureable testosterone in my system, and my libido wasn't under control, it was just non existent. I started on spiro instead of cypro, and I did have a ~2 week period where my libido started coming back after starting HRT, but then the cypro killed it. It's only just come back now, after about a year besides that one window

she responded to this thread earlier today.

Sending hugs. Won't pry

Oh no I really hope she is alright

what happens if you just don't? "The itch" always felt like mosquito bites to be, you wanna scratch for temporary relief but it just makes the itching worse.

Interesting, I had the opposite experience. When I got on E I felt happy that I felt not 'driven' by my libido but rather in control of it, so to say.

Shows once more that it differs from person to person what works best!

I can really use a really swet drink that gets me drunk... I shall investigate strawberrymilk liquor

i won't pry, but it's good to see you still here :)

hey its me. im ok. not fine but dont really want to talk about it. unrelated offline stuff. thanks for worrying.

If you live in the EU, you can have a video appointment with a doctor working in Malta or Spain where the trans legislation is much better than elsewhere in EU. They will then send you an EU prescription in paper form and you can get the prescribed blockers and hormones from your local pharmacy, completely legally. There's no need to really wait through all that waiting time first.

I'm beginning my HRT through a private hospital in Spain as describex, but I'm also applying for the long queue in the Finnish system. I'll switch to that one once they let me in.

that's true. hopefully that's all it is and she'll be back.

oh no! good night posts have been the highlight of my day. i hope she's well!

alcohol is not what is known as an active ingredient at least in this case.

Air is 78% nitrogen which does nothing for us
It is 19% oxygen which we need BADLY
but 100% oxygen is toxic to us, so we need to water it down with something, like nitrogen

Your estrogen is diluted by the same logic. 750 micrograms ain't much and if you tried to eyeball it in powder form you'd probably overdose by several orders of magnitude

and what language is afforded to us to develop self-understanding

Oh how everything has to be so strictly subdivided among only two genders. I never realized how annoying I found that until the past couple months.

Thank you friend 💖

I should preface this by saying I've already been somewhat convinced that it's worth trying to get hrt

That said I'm really happy for you that it panned out like that. And I'm somewhat relieved to hear it.

Sorry if this is rambly and venty. I tried to stay coherent

--

Right now, I already look queer. I get called names by strangers in the street, I've been a hair from being assaulted by a stranger in the middle od the day before, and that's just by looking gay (in a theoretically fairly progressive country). What I'm saying is, I think I can trust the people I've got around me. They're not the problem.

The problem is that right now when I give a kid a high five, I get a nasty look, and I understand. I present myself as a dude, after all. But if I start trying, I don't think that'll stop, but it'll hit so so so much harder. Just an example, of course, but you get what I'm saying

I'm afraid of trying and looking in the mirror and still not being able to like who I see, or maybe even liking it less than who I was before. I don't want to be feminine. I dislike women's clothes and makeup. I just don't want to be a man, but I feel like achieving that externally will be much harder without those things to support the image. My body has used its growing time to grow into the broad strokes of a man, and no amount of HRT is going to change that. Sure, fat will shift around eventually, I would grow boobs (dont think I want to. Not 100% sure tbh), but my face won't be demasculinized, my voice won't get un-fucked (I have been training my voice but that's not the point). I don't think I could live with myself if I actually tried and I still didn't get any closer to being happy.

So I guess that's why I'm really so apprehensive about HRT.

Well, that and waiting lists being measured in years, if they're open at all, meaning it's easy to just give up.

one more bump before i go to bed

i wasn't aware of that one, added to my list

Thanks, just crossposted it

I have a long term amazing partner that I'm already planning to marry so I'm not too worried about not being taken care of sexually or emotionally... Her libido is higher than mine by many orders of magnitude lol.

Sex being a longer but more fulfilling experience sounds like it would be preferred to me. Like, I just can't get engaged enough in my current mind to make it last more than maybe 30 minutes without forcing it and then I get tired and grumpy. It seems like going on HRT changes all that and y'all speak very highly of it which is making me begin to want it...

Uh, is your experience written with or without bottom surgery? I don't know I'm ever brave enough to go that far but the thought is still floating around in there.

Thank you for your input girl I really appreciate it 💖 y'all are amazing

thanks for the support<3

Yeah I feel ya, I've had prostate O's before, usually in addition to stimulating the front and they are very intense. It's really dependent on warming up and being in right headspace else it doesn't feel that good vs. just jacking off. But the envy is still there because that takes so much extra prep and doesn't always work out.

!direct_donations@lemmy.dbzer0.com may be another resource

Godspeed sister, sending hugs (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡