Quite Rikke-esque

Nope, you're just eating that muddy roach...

Imagine working in an office where you need to do that? Who says to themselves, "gee, i didn't bring that thing so it must be OK for me to have some"? These kinds of tactics don't come from nowhere

Chinchillas are destruction incarnate

You lost me at "high-performers". Go back to LinkedIn with those mega-corp mouth-noises

Reread the thread, explaining the joke makes it less funny

See all that foliage around the lake? That's why you have fireflies in your yard/desert.

Then, there's most of the rest of the world where neither of those words mean anything, heteronormative or otherwise. I guess have heard of topping pot plants, though...

Mengo?

I can hear the steel guitar...

Pretty much my thought process whenever somebody describes a piece of tech as "sexy". So, you like, want to stick your dick in it? You do know what sex is, right?