Sounds like they did The Monster Fuck

Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you said, but dentists actually tell you not to brush for at least 30 minutes after eating an acidic thing or you'll brush away a small amount of enamel that has temporarily been softened by the acid. So to effectively fuck up your teeth, alternate between swishing lemon juice and brushing.

But you see, the key to the trick is that size has nothing to do with it, nor does weight. It's all about relative densities. The orange is almost entirely water, with just enough other stuff in it to make it sink. Even a bowling ball will float in water if it weighs less than 12 lbs.

For anyone who missed out on learning food safety guidelines at some point, which I don't blame anyone for - Don't thaw your food in hot or even warm water. Even if you don't accidentally cook your food before you meant to, allowing the outer layer of the food to spend time in the temperature danger zone while the inner parts thaw will allow bacteria to start causing trouble. Now, if your frozen thing is small or thin enough to completely thaw in like 5 minutes, you're probably fine using warmer water, but in general, try to keep everything under 40°F(4°C) until you're actually ready to cook it.

When I read the headline the first time, I thought it said "fuhrther right" and chuckled at the pun, but then I reread it and there was no pun and I got sad.

It's a very comforting smile for reasons I was unable to articulate, but I think you're spot on with the understated realness of it.

They're just innocent in a purely legal sense, cuz human laws don't apply to cats and all that.

I mean, it was in Watchmen, but it certainly wasn't from Watchmen. According to this thread, versions of the joke predate Watchmen by 100 years.

I mean, he could be earnestly asking because he doesn't know either.

I've always heard the second part as "If you're not a conservative when you're old, you don't have anything in your wallet."

Dude looks like if Chi-Chi's dad, Ox-King got lost and wound up in the wrong anime.

When my first kid was born I often found myself singing that song to her when she cried. I didn't know why my brain jumped to that song so often, and then a couple years ago I re-watched that episode and was like "oh yeah, that's why. The show I watched every day as a child left some things in my subconscious." I also know that I've reached a certain level of stressed/anxious/depressed when I start singing "Que Sera Sera" to myself like Ned Flanders does in "Bart's Comet".