hi friend! i'm transmasc so if i'm overstepping by replying to this thread i really apologize, but, when i still had a lot of breast tissue i also had a high tendency to experience what are called "fibrocystic breast changes", which are benign and happen due to hormone shifts but can make areas of tissue feel lumpy/hard. that might be what's going on there! it's also not uncommon for fibrocystic areas to feel sore or tender. really hoping that it's that or something else similarly normal/benign for you.

First off congrats on your build!! That's gonna feel great after dealing with a chromebook.

For games you've got great choices in there but I'm gonna vote XCOM 2. I've had a weird hankering for missing 99% hit rate shots at point blank myself lately.

i've seen FART before. Feminism Appropriating Reactionary Transphobe, i think it stood for.

before i say anything else, i wanna stress that YOU are the only one who can define yourself, and you can take as much time as you need to do so. it's also okay for that definition to change!

i'm also autistic, and my own journey took years to even get started. i knew i was uncomfortable in my body but i could never figure out why, in large part because the language just wasn't available to me at the time. i rely a lot on being able to describe and define things to understand them: all i knew was that "girl" was uncomfortable and "boy" didn't seem right based on what i knew of boys, so i just... left it. for years.

finding out about non-binary identities was like a bomb going off in my head, making so many little connections fall into place. the discomfort i felt all my life came into an almost frightening clarity. with each baby step i took toward claiming that identity and reclaiming myself, i felt better bit by bit. but that didn't mean that i stuck with just non-binary as my identity either: i learned more about myself as i went along!

i went from non-binary/agender to understanding myself as one who experiences fluidity in my gender, running the gamut between feeling like i didn't have one at all to feeling masc-but-not-quite-male, to gender identities that can't really be categorized as masculine or feminine but some harder to define other thing. at first it feels frustrating, because so much of society wants to demand that you just "pick something" when that just isn't reality for some folks!

i encourage you to sit with yourself and think about what makes you happy, first and foremost. what parts of your body you like, what parts you wish you could change, if any. how you like to dress, etc. and a reminder that boys and men are more than welcome to wear dresses and skirts if it makes them happy, transmasculine people included!

i wish you luck while you're questioning. the journey can feel intimidating, but no matter where you end up as you go, you'll know more about yourself, your wants, and needs.