I live at an international dormitory with other international students, here in Japan. I met a guy two years ago and we were good friends ever since, he is japanese and I am Indian. I live in an international students dormitory so I introduced all of my friends to him and we all became good friends. It was usually only me who invited him for any plans even if he was connected to others through social media. He became my boyfriend after some time.

Now one of another Indian guy in my friend group is extremely misogynistic and is only nice to women he wants to sleep with. Needless to say he was not nice to me, would expect me to cater to the Japanese girls he's bringing to the dormitory and then act entitled. I told him I am not going to put up with this behavior, so he started to cut me off from plans ( he used to make so many plans) because he doesn't take his PhD seriously. When I noticed that he started to cut me off from plans, I just simply stopped talking to him.

This guy had a habit of befriending people who have cars, even pretended to be in love with a girl who has a car just so he could travel around. (This is important information for the story) My Japanese ex boyfriend also had a car but it was usually us going around alone.

Eventually we broke up because of a lot of communication gap but decided to stay friends. He made a new girlfriend one month ago and I decided to minimize my conversation with him although I was still very much in love with him.

Now this Indian guy, suddenly started becoming close to my Japanese ex boyfriend because he has a car and the girl he pretended to be in a relationship with because of her car, dumped him. He started inviting him to the dormitory. And my Japanese ex boyfriend started bringing his new girlfriend with him. I wouldn't have had any problem with it but my relationship with my Japanese ex boyfriend became very bad when I found out that he voted for a political party that is same as MAGA and wants to take away foreigners rights. He actually told me he wants to remove Chinese people from Japan but when he comes to my dormitory, he pretends to be their best buddy.

I requested my Indian friend multiple times not to invite him, so he kept telling me that it's a free world and we can do whatever we want (even though he got uncomfortable when I mentioned I would invite his ex girlfriend with a new boyfriend next). I gave him a warning and when he didn't listen, I told his ex the entire story of him cheating on her and then playing victim and calling her crazy when she opened up to their other mutual friends.

I also texted my ex boyfriend's new girlfriend and asked her to stop coming over to my place because I am moving out in two months. And then they can come whenever they want. Whenever they both come here, I feel uncomfortable and stop spending time with the same friends I introduced them to. I even told her that if they both Don't go to her ex-boyfriends place why do.they come to mine especially when I have already requested them multiple times to stop doing it.

Also if he hates foreigners so much and take away their rights, why should he hangout with us? I have not told my friends what he said about the topic to me.

So AITAH in this situation?

I (24F) met a guy (37M) at a party half a year ago. He’s Japanese and I am an Indian living in Japan. We talked and exchanged socials but that was about it. After that we met in several other occasions, organized by mutual friends and a lot of times he invited me to various events too. I never really thought much about it because the age gap between us is insanely high.

A week ago he asked me if I am free and would like to go to a cafe with him. He didn’t say it was a date but i kinda think it was. This was our first opportunity to actually get to know more about each other’s personal life. I asked him about his job, he told me that he handles his parent’s real estate company and is quite rich. But he feels like his job is not very rewarding so he wants to go to abroad. I asked him if he is planning to get married so he said he feels it is still to early for him to get married. Then he asked me why i am not dating anybody yet. I told him i was too busy to date anyone but now that i have found a job, I will move to a new city and look for a suitable partner there. I am also planning to have a lot of children so I don’t want to delay it a lot. He said he also wants to have many children, but he didn’t seem bothered at all with his age being much higher than mine. Anyways, i think i made it pretty clear that i am only planning to look for a boyfriend in the city i am moving to, while he said he’s planning to stay closer to his family in this city and go abroad temporarily.

He still paid for everything that we ate and asked me out on a date again.

My question is, if he knows that I am leaving this city in two months and not planning to date anyone here, then is it safe to assume he asked me out again because he wants to sleep with me? I do not want to sleep with him, i am definitely physically attracted to him because he’s very handsome but i am a virgin and i want my first time to be with a long term partner atleast.

Is there any comfortable way to bring up this topic without making me sound like a narcissist who assumed a guy wants to sleep with her just because he asked her out🥲.

Please help me out