The end. I'm killing myself right now. I will take all the pills I can find and wash it all down with detergent and cleaner spray. Then I'll drink bleach. Then I'll hide in a big trash bag and stab myself as many times as I can, all in a random alleyway where I won't be found, and I can be eaten by the local wildlife or something.

I am NOT living as that FAKE disorder. I am not living in a world where everyone believes in that FAKE disorder that took everything from me.

Everyone who believes in that FAKE disorder is a nazi, and worse than the actual nazis during the holocaust. You're pro eugenics, but slow eugenics where the Useless Eaters are abused by everyone in their lives until they kill themselves instead of being given a morphine overdose to have a gentle death like the Nazis actually did.

I cannot live in the same world as literal scum. Eradicate that FAKE disorder and stop killing children in the most cruel ways possible.

Just make it end.

I hate that I'm still alive. Just let me die already. I'm not living in this world where everyone believes in that stupid fake santa-claus disorder. I'm not living as a lifeless puppet controlled by that FAKE disorder. I lost my entire life to that stupid FAKE disorder and continue to lose more. That stupid fake shit took everything from me. Eradicate that fakeass disorder already. The cure has already existed, all you need to do is stop believing in it. It's imaginary. It's the fucking Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny. Autism is FAKE. It was created by nazis to euthanize inconvenient people for no reason. Aspergers was literally created so some inconvenient kids can be saved. It's all fake. Eradicate that shit. Everyone labeled as that shit as children was abused and neglected. Their issues are caused by shitty parents, shitty family, and abusive "schools". Everyone calling themselves that shit today are just boring losers so desperate for clout they'd contribute to misinformation that kills children in the slowest and painful way possible. Raise your fucking children instead of telling them to go away and blaming their issues on a fake disorder. All these shitty parents victimizing themselves for having "difficult children" when they literally created the child's issues. Maybe you shouldn't have shoved your kid in front of cocomelon to keep it quiet and convenient and call its issues from your neglect "autism". Maybe you should have taught your kid how to shower and wipe their ass instead of just watching TV all day and calling their lack of hygiene "autism". Maybe you shouldn't have made your kid the scapegoat of every issue in the family, and allow all the relatives to bully it, then call its held in rage "autism". Eradicate autism. It's fake. Stop killing children. The only people who call themselves that shit are people who were abused and groomed into believing their pain came from an ambiguous meaningless disorder (and have yet to learn they were abused and that disorder is fake), and TikTok addicted losers trying to be famous. At this point just be the next Johnny Somali, that'll be less harmful than giving a fake disorder that only serves as a scapegoat for abuse more false credibility.

Yeah interesting that being away from bullies and creeps and abusive adults at an institution, rapists at high school, adults who treated me like a wild animal, and family who bullied me my whole life for every aspect of who I was, I actually have a personality, I can hold conversations, I can work a job, I take care of myself and my living space, and I don't cut myself as much anymore, fucking interesting it's almost as if that stupid shit is fake and all these children are suffering from being the roach of their families and being gaslit into believing constant bullying is love.

Everyone would seriously raise one child to be an unwanted dependent burden then bully it as revenge for it existing and being a burden. Yeah it could have been an independent human being but you raised it to be scum, and the reason why it's worthless scum is because it was born with some meaningless label, right. Then when it tries to do anything on its own everyone in its life bullies it for trying to be a real human. So funny that it thinks it's on the same level as actual people, right. It should know its place as a dependent burdensome permanent toddler. But then it's too old to need actual people washing its face and brushing its teeth, so the actual people use spit and toilet water as revenge. And if it says anything about it, it's just throwing a little fit for not getting what it wants when it wants and it's funny.

Doing anything on its own it's being a bad kid but then actually becoming independent is so inspirational, that some worthless scum managed to actually be like actual humans! It must be the stupid meaningless disorder that made her so stupid that she was stripped of all humanity by everyone in her life that made her so smart she could get a job. But everyone still hates her for not getting free money from the government so they sabotage the job and tell her to stop acting like she's more than. Right! Know your place. You are less than. You're less human than a roach. Even roaches are too good for you. You're supposed to be a helpless overgrown baby, but everyone will hate you and abuse you for that too.

The longer I live, the more I'll need to fight to just be a human being. What is the point of living if I'm only going to be seen exclusively as That Shit? I envy all the actual people who get to be actual human beings. Like, Toby Fox made those popular games, but if that were me, that stupid disorder made the game. It's popular because that stupid shit made me talented and smart. But if I lost interest in making games, that stupid shit made me uninterested. Just fucking eradicate that stupid fake shit already. Everyone is suffering from something with an actual name, definition, and treatment. That stupid puzzle piece shit is only an excuse to give up on children not worth anyone's time. It's fucking fake and it destroys lives before they can even start.

I regret being a child with hobbies like every other child. Every hobby was some stupid Exquisite Talent that I had to be filmed and shoved down everyone's throats for. Everything I enjoyed was only for the smartest intellectuals and I had to be filmed and interviewed for that as well. I literally was the equivalent of Elon Musk and Trump, everyone was so tired of hearing about what random mundane thing I accomplished this time. But I was also the asshole for wanting to be normal as I'm passing up a rare privilege everyone else wished they had.

I also regret losing interest in everything and being a literal zombie staring at walls when I wasn't sleeping as that was proof I had some stupid disorder and needed help. I really should have just been euthanized instead. All lives do not matter.

If a child went insane something probably happened to them, but label that child with a puzzle piece and nothing happened, they were always insane.

• You will only be as loved as much as you qualify for free money or have some "talent" that generates money.

• Your family will hate you either way, for being a burden that can't do anything for itself. 9 times out of 10 they could have taught you how to be independent but assumed you couldn't do anything because of some stupid disorder label.

• Wanting to be independent makes you ungrateful for their help. These people are helping, with their own time and money from their own pocket, and you push it away?

• But being dependent, as mentioned earlier, makes you a burden and everyone just wishes you would just go away already.

• Mentally disabled people are only ever seen as jokes. You could be a child inexperienced with life or attracted to things for children because you're literally a growing child, but your family will bully you for being [r word]. So, yeah, liking My Little Pony and Sonic the Hedgehog as a teen is funny, but so is liking anything aimed at teenagers.

• You will watch everyone else live real lives, and the closest thing you get to a real life is daydreaming about it.

• Everyone else can be clean and comfortable, but you taking a shower is funny. You wanting fun fashion is funny, you're supposed to know your place wearing hand me downs and bargain tees while smelling like week old body odor. Trying to be clean is funny.

• However, being stinky is a problem and everyone in your family wants you gone. They assume a disorder is why you smell bad, and not the fact they literally bullied you into not showering, and trying to hide your period as much as possible. All this while you feel grubby and itchy, and you just need to deal with it because having soap bought for you is just too funny that your parents never buy it.

• Everyone assumes the mentally disabled are extremely spoiled, and every single issue you have is a petty little non issue. The same people ridiculing you for smelling bad are the same people calling you spoiled for complaining about being unable to shower. You're lazy and selfish for not using deodorant, but you're spoiled and entitled for asking for it and never getting any.

• Everyone in your life assumes your stunted growth is only because of a disorder, and you'll end up in a group home if you're not profitable. In the home, you'll never be comfortable, as all the staff only want to look at their phones.

• You will smell way worse than you did before, especially after all the accidents you've had being unable to use a toilet at home. And wanting to use the toilet makes you spoiled and entitled. You're gross for soiling yourself, and spoiled for not wanting to soil yourself. You're gross for showering with water or not at all and spoiled for asking for soap. You are always the problem.

• The staff ridicule and bully you just like your family did, if not worse. You will never experience real love or the happiness you had when you were three. Oh, right, you'll most likely be fixated on children's media you enjoyed when your life peaked in preschool, which everyone in your life will continue to bully you for.

• You most likely could have grown, worked, and been independent, but were never given the chance. And for those who actually couldn't, they live a life worse than purgatory until they die.

If these people can't just live real lives then they deserve actually therapeutic happy lives, full stop. What is the point of living a life where you literally only eat prison food and sleep while watching Cocomelon? Literally, a life where the staff give you drugs to make you sleep and that's your life. Eating gross food like mashed potatoes that had to be sliced with a fork and knife and meatloaf that smelled like dog vomit and had to be eaten with a spoon, and sleeping. I've seen this shit first hand, where decently bright happy children are brutally abused into becoming living corpses whose minds were murdered when they were babies.

There's no excuse for why this is allowed.

I hate telling people I chose my name as they don't see me as just my name but someone who "prefers" to be called my name. It's either that or them assuming my parents chose my name, which they did not. My parents chose a fake ooga booga mockery of an "African" name that was so bad it could have worked as a racial or ethnic slur. I hated that crap. I avoided making friends to just not be called that shit. I've picked fights with well-meaning people for calling that shit "pretty". I'd rather die than be called that shit. I ditched all my high school and college friends including some I was very close to because I knew they would continue to call me that shit. When I had jobs before the name change, I never stayed in touch with any friends I made there either.

I felt like a lot of weight was removed from my shoulders when I finally changed my name to an actual real normal common human name. I no longer felt like I was stuck in someone else's body with no way out so I can live as me. I finally got to just be me. However, living with family who knew I hated that ugly birth name my whole life is just a life not worth living. They still call me that ugly shit and find it funny that I still hate it today. It's funny when my name or a fake name is on a package. I'm only supposed to be that ugly shit. They claim to love me but they'll never just call me my name which literally saved me from attempting suicide.

At this point we should have euthanasia as an option for children who hate their names, so their families and anyone they knew wouldn't need to call them anything else.

I still feel like it's not worth doing anything if a stupid disorder is going to take credit for everything I did. The same stupid disorder that was the reason why I wasn't supposed to grow or work. There's no escaping that shit and changing my name isn't enough. Asshole data brokers pieced together that I changed my name and connect that stupid birth name to my name when anyone googles either one. I'm just going to be stalked by aps before I end up with als or cancer and trapped in some abusive institution or hospital again anyway. Trying to reclaim my life is wasted effort and resources. If we're so against killing unwanted children then we should at least allow euthanasia for anyone with the unwanted disorders.

I'm about to start DoorDashing for more $$$ to buy things I don't need and also save for my apartment and I'm excited! I know I won't get thaaaaaat much but I need an excuse to ride around in this awesome weather! 🎉

I feel like everyone likes another fake personality instead of me. I'm a void. I'm nothing. Eventually they'll see that I'm nothing on the inside and I'd rather just disappear before that happens. I really give up. I think my boyfriend deserves a better woman but he's so set on me. I'm horrible. I hate that I love him. I deserve nothing. I should have just known my place and continued hiding myself from society. It's all so overwhelming.