Good thing I live on hot dogs and macaroni and cheese! Suck it!

100% of people die having had at least 64oz of water in their lifetime. Stop drinking water! Seriously though, this article is 10/10 on the bullshit meter. The "research" link is to a annual meeting. There is no evidence that the "more likely" status is meaningful, and there are no receipts in the article that can be verified.

Jokes on you, I cut my whole grains in half one by one before eating them

Got it, quit eating and start smoking cigarettes.

Life is carcinogenic, especially in the state of California.

Science has discovered that saliva causes stomach cancer but only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.

--George Carlin

Qué sera sera.

People with self control over their dietary choices blown the fuck out

Why "may"? If they have insufficient data to assert a statement, then is it just as useful to state that it "may not"? So, fruit and veggie consumption may not influence early onset lung cancer.