Text exchange:
Sender: I have called in dogs medication to the vet for a refill. Edit: I have picked up her script and have returned. 
Recipient: I’m in the bathroom.
Sender: Same. Our butts are connected by the house plumbing. 
Recipient: [Meme of Jack Nicholson creepily nodding]

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[–] 35 points 7 months ago*

This is some damn good married life.

Extra credit for actual shit post.

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  • [–] 25 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Does that count as a moon landing?

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  • [–] 24 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Is this meme implying they have TWO bathrooms?! Fucking bourgeois.

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  • [+] 10 points 7 months ago* (1 child)
  • [–] [S] 2 points 7 months ago*

    I appreciate having two bathrooms. We can poop at the same time!

    Plus the bathroom by the bedrooms is the one that hides all our shame. The one near the living room is whimsical and slutty – the exact takeaway about us I want guests to have.
    (It’s got a lot of cartoon boobs and butts in there, some interracial sapphic mermaid art, a small painting done in the style of classic “ship art” of a penis breaching the waves like a whale. And of course the toilet has both Moby Dick and the 1970’s photo-illustrated version of “The Joy of Sex” for reading materials.)

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  • [–] 16 points 7 months ago

    They're basically making out by the transitive property of tubes

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  • [–] 11 points 7 months ago

    Relationship goals

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago

    🎶 somewhere out there... 🎶

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    Lux Æterna starts playing...

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