My wife and I were 6 months into planning ours and so fucking stressed out over making it a great experience for our honored guests. A text from her mother that read "Well if you invite X you have to invite Y or else it's going to be an issue..." was the straw that broke both our backs, but there had been months of this shit prior to that point, to the point where it was affecting my wife-to-be and I's relationship and we never argued like we did over planning our "traditional" wedding.

None of the stress was internal, it was all external...people weighing in with their opinions of our plans, what we should serve, oh this person doesn't like that, you should have this instead, well this person is going to insist on bringing their kids even if they kids are not invited so you'd better plan on having settings for them, dont use that photographer use this photographer or else wedding ruined, dont get this caterer get this other caterer or wedding ruined, dont have it here, have it there, or wedding ruined...

So we both said "Fuck it" and eloped. Found a small bed and breakfast a few hours away that offered a literal Elopement Package....the owner was a certified JP, his wife did all the decorating...they even provided witnesses. All we had to do was show up. The price was just under what the photographer alone was going to cost us.

Happily married for 10 years now. Best decision we ever made.

We think a lot alike. Few people have asked me 'But what if she wants a big wedding!?' and they never understand the reply of then I wouldn't be marrying her. If I'm going to blow a bunch of money when we get married it's going to be on the honeymoon. I would rather not spend money on a wedding party that most people don't want to go to and no one is going to remember. But to spend money to 'create memories' around the world... Hell yeah.

My husband and I got married in our backyard with just our immediate family in attendance (10 folks in total - my brother was our officiant), but we livestreamed it for others that wanted to see. I found a legit wedding dress for $70 and didnt bother with alterations cause it fit fine enough and I was only gonna wear it for several hours. I built the wedding arch we got married under, my mama did my hair and makeup, and my mama-in-law and sister-in-law cooked our reception food.

We "got away with it" because it was during the quarantine period of the pandemic (NYE 2020). Even though my mom was pretty pissed at me for not having a real wedding, this is the way.

Know someone who got married by a lake on public land. Cost was basically a dj and catering for 30ish people. We did ours in a butterfly garden with a friend as the officiant and the total cost was a thrifted dress and tickets for the garden. 10/10 would recommend.

We're gonna do a bigger one for family when our finances aren't so fucked, but honestly I wouldn't care if we didn't.

We were in our 30s, and neither of us wanted to make a fuss, invite a bunch of people, declare our love, etc. Yuck. So we spent the money on the vacation of a lifetime in St Lucia, and got married in the beach with a nice couple we meant as our witnesses.

When we got back, everybody was just as happy that we got married, and my mom threw a little reception with a small cake. We were comfortable with that.

Absolutely! It's the same as the whole diamond ring thing. If my partner doesn't want a malachite ring on one hand with a turquoise or tiger's eye ring on the other, we aren't going to be compatible.

If I were to plan a 'wedding' it would be a series of them. Invite over about 10-20 people at a time every other week for three months (I have a looooot of extended family that I am actually close with, so maybe even for six months depending on how big my partner's family and friends group is). We can split the cost of the food, and just plan some outings at the local sites (depending on where I would be, something like a park, the beach, a mountain hike, etc.). That lets us avoid the classic 'X hates Y, so you can't sit them near each other!' baloney. It also lets us redirect the cost of a venue, catering, photographers, etc. towards food alone, and we can splurge a little while still saving 80% of the costs.

My partner and I got married after 8 months of meeting. We're both quiet people with sensory issues, so we got married on our friend's front porch with about 30 friends, no family allowed. Found someone to give our wedding for a few hundred bucks, the engagement ring and wedding bands were likely no more than $500 for all three.

All that plus the booze we probably did it for under $1500 total.

Posting this online.. is 'the wife' locked up without contact to other people and without internet access?

Could have put a deposit down with an agreement he gets to test it before committing to purchase.

Or it's the Internet and is lying

Whenever you order a vehicle, you pay a small bit down, but full purchase isn’t until it arrives. Sometimes you can get deals on custom orders that fell through at the last minute that a person didn’t buy.

It could just be weird phrasing. It could be that he's saving up for it and plans to have the money at that time. He's expecting to have the money, so he's expecting to buy it, or put another way he's "got it coming"

It’s more like “can I be in your family” now a days. If my wife’s dad said no, I would’ve still married her. But knowing that I’m accepted into their family is nice.

You're taking it way too literal. Some women think it's romantic when you ask their father for permission to marry them. If she wants you to do this, she'll likely tell you. The same way you'd discuss whether she wants her father to walk her down the aisle. These practices aren't necessarily bad or toxic.

If you are in a healthy committed relationship you talk about these sorts of things, there's no right or wrong. On the other hand, I do agree with you that it would be really weird and creepy to ask a father permission to marry his daughter behind her back.

I personally disagree. Long time ago, I was dating someone and one day it just happened... Like that was the point I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But I did a quick 'ask her father for permission' but in my head... And doing that was when I fully came to grasp with just how much a loser I was and how little I had to offer anyone. That moment, was the moment my life shifted. I got my drinking under control, went to college, made better friends, I was serious about my future.

While I didn't talk to her father, I knew exactly what he'd say. I knew exactly how he felt about me. Him being always honest with me and me finally being honest with me was the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I've never viewed it as a property thing, at least not in America. And I didn't anyone does. To me it's always been more of a 'are you worthy, do I trust you'.

Marriage itself is a chattel trade. It’s delulu to think you can enter into the institution without normalising patriarchy.

I don't know if it came from elsewhere first, but it's not very common nowadays in the US.

It's old-fashioned, and it's not like the woman's parents have the authority to say 'no'. It's more like a gesture of humility, then a "we accept you into our family" sort of thing. If someone does it these days, it's probably in the south and with a really traditional family who they're trying to impress.

Bold of you to assume my knickers can be untwisted.

In that case...

Where does it say that