It’s always weird to watch film journalists try to make movie openings interesting.

Out of the gate, Illumination/Universal’s The Super Mario Galaxy Movie already is breaking records with a $34M Wednesday

This is seriously so silly.

it’s also the best opening Wednesday in April, beating 2023’s The Super Mario Bros Movie, which brought in $31.7M

Oh ok so a whole three years ago; the same series. What a record! Pop the champagne

The movie will join Shrek, Toy Story and Minions as the only animated franchises to have two titles open to more than $100M for three days at the domestic box office

Whoa, the most successful animated movies are the ones where people have to pay for their kids?! No way…

besting Amazon MGM Studios’ Project Hail Mary, which rang up a $33.1M Friday/previews — but it’s also the best opening Wednesday in April, beating 2023’s The Super Mario Bros Movie, which brought in $31.7M. Keep in mind, no previews puffing up that figure.

Celebrating a rehashed sequel beating a genuinely good original IP. This is why we can't have nice things.