Nicotine, Valium, Vicodin, marijuana, ecstasy and alcohol

Cocaine

The sea life isn’t doing much better, either.

we're all just getting by man...

Are they hiring?

Champagne, cocaine, gasoline. And most things in the reef

DIDN'T HURT A BIT!

Lucky

I'm full of two of those things. Guess which.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit being a shark.

Sensational Writing 101:

The crystal clear waters of the Bahamas are filled with enough traces of human pharmaceuticals and illegal drugs that it’s showing up in shark blood.

"filled with enough traces"

What do you motherfuckers think "traces" means?

Sharknado -> cocaine bear -> cocaine shark -> cocaine Sharknado?

It's a stressful life being a shark.

Lucky sharks

Legalize soft- and harddrugs and stop profiting of pharmaceutical drugs and all of this will go away.

Sharks with contaminated blood showed shifts in metabolic markers tied to stress and energy use. The researchers aren’t sure what the long-term effects of exposure might be, but similar studies in other species have shown that exposure to stimulants like caffeine can alter behavior

Can we get one of those spider-takes-drug-X studies, but sharks?

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt27036391/

Are they shooting the new Jackass movie there?

Cocaine shark https://piefed.social/post/1062495

Sharks in the Bahamas Are Full of Cocaine, Caffeine, and Painkillers

Sounds like the beginning of a pretty good night out.

Where's @sharkfucker420 when you need him?

Fuck yeah

And microplastics and human excrement and crude oil and everything else humans dump into oceans.

And everyone alive is "full of" radioactive waste from nuclear bomb tests in the 60's. And by "full of" I mean, technically detectable by extremely precise scientific equipment but in such small quantities that it has zero effect on the organism and is measured by the number of molecules present rather than even something small like micrograms.