I'm so glad spring is here and I can lick metal poles again. My tongue was getting splinters from having to lick wooden poles all winter.

I know you won't read the article, but that doesn't mean you get to miss this:

If it's covered in lead paint it won't stick, but you still shouldn't lick it...

Summary for people who, like me, want to know the solution in case this happens:

Panic only a little

If you're asking: Then what was the point of this study?