update, I'm at the mental health urgent care clinic now.

Next time write the chats, but give them 24hrs before sending. Then see if they still make sense with a cooler head.

It sounds like you expressed your emotions in chat in a way that made people concerned about you. Since they are not mental health professionals, and are just other regular people, they didn't respond in a way you would have found helpful. They do not have the responsibility or training to do so.

Writing down your immediate reaction allows you to work through your immediate oversized reaction. You don't need to bottle it up, and you can read it later in a calm state and figure out if any of that needs to be shared, and how best to do so.

It's useful to keep in mind that the people you interact with may also be going through their own struggles. Because of mine, I tend to avoid people with oversized reactions to things I consider the mundane disappointments of life. I would not have replied to you explaining what you did wrong, either.

But, should my reaction be accomodated for, of yours? They are both symptoms. Both can be incredibly harmful in different ways. If they didn't fuck over our lives, they'd just be personality quirks, not an illness.

It's possible the group could do more to accommodate you. It's possible this particular group can't, for whatever reason. Think of groups like this as a collection of individuals taking on voluntary responsibility. Each of them has their own circumstances, and only so much they can do. Just like you. They might be wrong or you might be, but it's best to take this as a learning experience for yourself since you aren't in a position to change them.

Can we talk about the mental health aspect of this please?

Talk about what? If you have mental health problem then you should talk to doctor, not us. And people demonstrating sincerely aggressive behavior should be banned. Mental illnesses are not excuse. Mental illnesses are additional burden.