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[–] 50 points 9 months ago (9 children)

It aligns itself with the magnetic field of metal of the stove and starts a transduction of capicitive resonation that interferes with the polaritive vibrations of the planetary magnetic field.

This in turn creates a localized pulse of geomagnetic interference that the fan blades are sensitive to, and their shape works to create a single direction rotation that both pushes air and traps the interference and creates a perpetual motion at the same time.

Brilliant engineering, honestly.

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  • [–] 12 points 9 months ago (6 children)

    Are you the inventor of the Retro Encabulator?

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  • [–] 6 points 9 months ago (4 children)

    I want to know how they solve the issue with side fumbling?

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  • [–] 32 points 9 months ago (6 children)

    It doesn't work. It's an optical illusion, but is so compelling that yiu hallucinate feeling the air move.

    This was first used on gas stoves, which is where the term gaslighting came from.

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  • [–] 5 points 9 months ago (3 children)

    Ummmm pretty sure none of that happened

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  • [–] 61 points 9 months ago

    When it's hot enough, the blades start melting. As metal slowly drops, they get lighter on the inner edge (thinner part, melts faster), and start rotating because they're not balanced anymore.

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  • [–] 26 points 9 months ago* (3 children)

    If someone posted how it actually works, it would probably get upvoted, because the real explanation is more exotic than what most people think.

    The fan is connected to a small electric engine, powered by an electronic device in between the top and bottom parts. This device runs on fediverse upvotes.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago (2 children)

    I'm 90% sure this thing effectively does nothing and just spins when hot air flows over it due to natural convection to make it look like it's doing something.

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  • [–] 14 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    There are little gnomes inside and when it gets hot they start hopping. That hopping powers the fan.

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  • [–] 14 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    There is a tiny man inside the drum behind the fan and as it heats up, he must walk forward like on a hamster wheel to not burn his bare feet. The man walks inexorably forward, blind and delirious from exhaustion to avoid the agony of being roasted alive.

    You're a sick fuck for buying this thing OP.

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  • [–] 12 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    the heat actually vibrates the blades of the fans at a special frequency that allows it to communicate with the undead.

    using a special set of mircoscopic engravings on the back of every odd numbered blade, it communicates with the vengeful spirits and asks for a man named 'josh'.

    once the fan hits 100°c, and josh is successfully conjured, he utilizes his insanely strong arms to push the fan in a counter-clockwise direction.

    upon the cooling of the fan, josh relieved of his duties, and sent to the break room. another spirit is premoted to a 'josh' to take his place.

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  • [–] 11 points 9 months ago

    Boiling water.

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  • [–] 11 points 9 months ago

    It gets too hot and needs to fan itself off before it faints.

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  • [–] 10 points 9 months ago

    Thoughts & Prayers ^TM^

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  • [–] 9 points 9 months ago

    The fan has a small gnome creature permanently jailed for his crimes between the bottom foot and top fan. When you heat the bottom he bounces around Mario 64 style and rotates a small crank attached via string. This motion generates enough energy to spin the fan at like 3 rpm. The gnome cannot be released under any circumstances.

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  • [–] 16 points 9 months ago

    There's obviously a group of very small people trapped inside a hamster wheel style contraption. As the fan structure heats up, the floor of the wheel grows uncomfortably hot, and forces the little people to continuously run to avoid getting burned (continually cycling the cooler top of the wheel down to the bottom). This in turn turns the fan blades.

    I am honestly appalled that you would buy such a thing; it's cruel.

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  • [–] 8 points 9 months ago

    Quite simply, as it says, when things get heated, such as during a fight with your spouse, the fan will start trying to escape which causes it to spin.

    This also works if you start yelling at it yourself, although you need to be genuine. It can detect if you're lying, so get angry!

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  • [–] 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    The earth is spinning like really quickly all the time and we just don't notice it. Heat if a form of vibration, and so when heat is applied to the bottom of the fan the atoms there move more. A gyroscope resists tilting forces because it is spinning, and the earth is spinning, but the vibration of the fan decouples it from this effect. The blades are able to move freely and the earth moves around them, pushing air through the blades.

    tldr: It's not spinning, you are spinning

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    But how does the cosmic ether interact with that?

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago

    I'm glad that you asked! The earth's rotation creates an energy field that brings the ether to rotate in sync with it, even at a distance. You can see the effects of this in the atmosphere in hurricanes. The ether is very light and so as the energy field spins the ether faster than the earth it creates the same fan effect but for our atmosphere. Hurricanes never cross the equator because that's where the forces of the earth spinning against the ether and pushing forward against the ether are perpendicular.

    tldr: the earth is a really big fan and it makes hurricanes

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  • [–] 8 points 9 months ago

    The 5G sends theta control waves to humanoid brains and the closest human to the fan reflects some of those control waves onto the collecting fins on the body of the fan, thereby resonating and making the fan blades spin.

    Obviously.

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  • [–] 8 points 9 months ago

    You rig it to a boiling pot of water and the fan creates electricity from the boiling water to power the fan

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  • [–] 7 points 9 months ago

    It detects when you are in heat, and turns on.

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  • [–] 6 points 9 months ago

    Wind turbine for Jesus farts.

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  • [–] 5 points 9 months ago (4 children)

    Why is the gauge missing rpm?

    And when will this tech evolve for human body heat?
    (I want to fly using by buttplug!)

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    They already tried that, but the power exchange of heat to motion dangerously interacts with conceptual hotness and you just had kinky human icicles falling from the sky.

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  • [–] 5 points 9 months ago

    HEAT not included

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  • [–] 5 points 9 months ago

    When air is warm, it rises. As the air attaches to the blades, the air is tricked into accepting a new definition of "up" which rotates with the blades, endlessly propelling them.

    As that air cools, warmer air is drawn in and entrapped, continuing the cycle.

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago
    [–] 4 points 9 months ago

    Steam powered.

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago

    It gets hot, then it blows you- what else is there to know?

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    Heat power like the box says, duh!

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    It's heat powered. Obviously.

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    There's a little guy in the hub and as it gets hotter he begins running trying to escape which creates rotational energy to spin the blade

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    Connects to Tesla's wireless electricity tower ofc

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago

    Straight up magic

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    I too thought about mine. It stopped working one day. I found a USBC port on the back, just charged it up. Now it works

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    The fan draws body heat towards the stove so, in the long run, you use less firewood.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    Fake: the fan doesn't work

    ADHD: the fan is inside the stove

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  • Little men with packets, inside these packets, they carry an electron. When it starts getting hot on the one side, they all run away, bringing in cold men with packets, and the cold 9nes can't stand being so cold, so they're constantly standing in line ot be by the fire again.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    It's a fan powered by the thrusting of people in heat who are fucking because they're stuck inside on a cold winter night. It thus harnesses the unlimited power of horney people to keep homes warm and well circulated.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    I mean, it says on the package.

    You need heat, so fly to the nearest sun and install it on the hottest part. Just position carefully so you don't cause the sun to spin slower and cause a cooldown effect as that'll cause it to stop working!

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  • [–] 3 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    It converts the vibrations from me shagging your mom in the kitchen.

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago

    Heat move up. Heat hit blade of fan. Heat turn blade.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago

    I like the idea of watching Robert de Niro and Al Pacino in this absolute classic while enjoying a stream of fresh air, and 171 minutes of autonomy is pretty nice. But I don't see where the DVD should be inserted.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago

    Tiny gnomes.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago

    It's actually pretty simple and old school tech. INside of the pole holding the fans it has a pattern that when getting hot expands. Together with gravity in now starts spinning and with every spin it starts going faster.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago
    [–] 1 point 9 months ago

    Eats the food in the oven and do the work. Like a dog.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago

    The hot air from the stovetop move the blades like a windmill obviously

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  • The stove is hot so the fan is just trying to cool itself down. Duh.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago

    It's steam, like almost all power obviously.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago

    Charle's and Boyle's gas laws. PV = nRT. As the temperature rises it creates a sudden increase in the volume and pressure of the immediate air. The increase pressure and volume in a closed room forces the fan blades to turn.

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  • [–] -2 points 9 months ago

    It's a Sterling engine. It uses the difference between the heat on the stove and the cool air to create a flow of thermal energy that literally drives the motor.

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