I'm thinking of replying with this:

Saddam is hiding in the first comment.

send them this

https://nohello.net/en/

I truly hate this. At work I've told everyone that if they just send a "hello" message it will be ignored. I have things to do other then going twenty rounds of "hello" before getting into the actual subject.

Put a trigger warning on this jfc

also https://dontasktoask.com/

I straight up ignore anyone who does this.

I don't give a fuck if it's the CEO.

don't waste my time.

12:45 p.m. is not morning.

"Good morning

Did you know that you can send a greeting and the actual body of the request in the same message?

If you waste my time again I will scream.

Yours faithfully, NABDad"

Jfc you just do both at the same time.

"Hey, I'm reaching out with regard to ticket 27472. I'll need to remote into your device. You'll see a notification that it's happening. I just wanted to give you a heads up that the notification is expected behavior. Let me know if you have any questions!"

One message.

Do work.

"Hey again, the .zip is benign. Thanks for reaching out! Feel free to open it."

They respond "thanks sorry I was at lunch"

"👍"

Never speak again.

In Teams, use your pedantic BS pleasantry if you absolutely must.

But then use [CTRL] + [Enter] to start a new line and type out your message or request.

And while I am at it..... stop randomly calling people. Set a meeting or ping / text it.

Hi

Hello.

Reminds me of the old MSN web browser that would say this to you when you logged in.

i say good morning to people in the afternoon to signal to them that it is my morning time as ive just awoken, so please be gentle and patient with me.