what

Use the toilet paper. What did you think they put them in all stalls for, decoration?

Couple months ago I found myself needing to stop at a McDonald's in probably one of the worst neighborhoods you can find outside of the inner city. Nature was calling and it seemed like my best option.

It was for paying customers only, fair enough, I made a token purchase of a McChicken and some fries, and got an employee to unlock the door for me.

I was greeted with that eerie blue light that bathrooms in places like this use to deter drug use because it makes it harder to find a vein.

It gave off an all-around really unsettling vibe, but I will admit that, at least as far as I could tell given the lighting, it seemed to be immaculately clean.

I once was in a McDonald's washroom in the very dirty city of Regina while traveling and it was life changing. While in the washroom this person comes storming in, drops trow and pushes their ass up to the stall wall (not the door but next to it) and just starts ass blasting. Very much liquid human waste is now spraying everywhere (due I assume to the pressure seal they have made with their ass on the wall). I was lucky and was washing my hands near the door and was able to exit without incident, but I do remember that there was another person in the very stall getting a colon pressure wash. I went to the counter and told the staff about it (hoping in vain they might be able to save the person trapped with nothing but that very open gap stall as their defense) and to my shock they did not seem at all surprised but just said, "oh them again". When I somewhat shaken ask what they mean by "them" they explain that its not just one ass blaster but a couple that both regularly run into the "wrong" bathroom at the same time (the gender of the ass blaster did not even occur to me, let alone rank high on my list of issues) and just, as they put it "make a bad mess" of the washroom. At this point I asked about what can be done about the person trapped in shit land, and the staff just looked at me like I grew a second head. They did not see the issue at hand, they just went "well that is where shit happens" and they can always clean off.

Now by this point the ass blasters have finished and left (no one seemed to even look at ether of them) and my food was ready (I ordered then went to the washroom). The staff member grabs my food and tells me not to worry too much about the event as it "only happens a few times a month". I get my food and leave passing by another staff member white in the face pushing a cleaning bucket towards the rooms "where shit happened". As I drive away eating my food I have the thought, I really should not be eating this, and I never saw the person in the stall leave.

As the intruder, that's what you should have done. Waited your turn 

I did two, one in the mens and one in the ladies.

I was going from the fact that they're not hairy...

It could also be broken. A lot of times the door just won't actually stay shut and sometimes you just have to let the door win.

Bizarre? Sure. But there's nothing wrong with bizarre. You didn't stop at calling it bizarre, though.