371
Stretch marks (slrpnk.net)
submitted 11 months ago by to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
87 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

My face just looks like this since I hit 40. Haven't checked on my balls - beer gut is in the way

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[–] 94 points 11 months ago (11 children)

Idk a single man who cares about stretch marks, it's usually the women who bring it up

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  • [–] 28 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    I agree, women are savage to each other, men either don't notice or don't care mostly. Ofc there are some idiots

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  • [–] 17 points 11 months ago

    I've seen and heard both men and women bring up their own stretch marks, but I've almost* never seen or heard anyone of any gender bring up someone else's. And I have stretch marks, and have been seen naked by several people of various genders.

    *the one exception I've seen is as part of a list of reasons husbands have given for why they find their wives unattractive post pregnancy. And that was maybe twice and in anonymous comments.

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  • [–] 7 points 11 months ago (4 children)

    I've known a few, the type that traded up on their wives like cars as they got older. All of them were c suite execs.

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    • [–] 30 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    Oh please, I wish my balls were that smooth.

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    • [–] 56 points 11 months ago (5 children)

    Men will not complain about your stretch marks

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    • [–] 24 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    I don't care if she has stretch marks. Why would I?

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  • [–] 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    Right. I've got stretch marks of my own. Why would I judge hers?

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    • [–] 13 points 11 months ago

    Two thoughts:

    1. I've never heard a man complain about stretch marks.

    2. Good lord OP, is that an actual real photo of a real human face?

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    [–] 14 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    These some high quality memes you've got here tonight, sir. You got a license to distribute these white hot bangers?

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    • [–] 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

    I shave mine and now they look great IMO

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    • [–] 6 points 11 months ago

    I'll have you know these balls as smooth sa eggs.

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    [–] 5 points 11 months ago

    TIL my balls are Gelfling.

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    [–] 43 points 11 months ago (29 children)

    To be fair, nobody be they man, woman, or beast, believes that balls are attractive to anybody without a weird testicle kink.

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  • [–] 26 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (9 children)

    I dunno, I think a lot of male-attracted people enjoy a good pair of balls

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  • [–] 51 points 11 months ago* (6 children)

    I had a one night stand where the guy warned me he had only one ball. My immediate (in my head) reaction was I would not have noticed.

    They shift around on their own and sometimes one or both hide for some reason, and honestly I respect the hell out of such a chaotic organ, but they are purely unreliable. Just imagine going through life thinking testicles are stagnant and neat, two nuts in a skin sack, only to find out half the population has these roving jizz pebbles constantly on the move. Our word for 'planet' comes from the greek word for 'wanderer,' and so should testicles have been named. They wander the groin as the trepidation of the spheres rolls planets across our skies. Never still.

    So I guess they're okay. He didn't want me to touch his ball anyway.

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  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    I respect the hell out of such a chaotic organ

    just for curiosity, what else is a chaotic organ?

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago

    The liver. Gets high as fuck without dying (much,) can Terminator 2 regenerate itself — like if you gave someone half your liver (in their body) you'd both end up with whole livers, and it's the most delicious of the organs.

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  • [–] 6 points 11 months ago (9 children)

    "nobody"

    What a fucking asinine comment. Don't project your opinions onto everybody else.

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  • [–] 0 points 11 months ago (8 children)

    Damn getting rage responses from the pro ball crowd. Didn’t expect to see that one.

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  • [–] 5 points 11 months ago (7 children)

    Dude knows ball

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago (6 children)

    Loves it! Well good on em.

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  • [–] 4 points 11 months ago (5 children)

    A million puns instantly spring to mind, but I won't use a single one. They're all low hanging fruit anyway.

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  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago (4 children)

    My balls started sagging this year, speaking of low hanging fruit. I like it! My balls don’t stick to my legs when I jog anymore!

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  • [–] 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    I've seen some pretty attractive balls in my life. It's just most people with balls are often very crusty.

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    • [–] 3 points 11 months ago (13 children)

    Balls have stretch marks? I've been focused on it being the last patch of hair to turn grey

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  • [–] 6 points 11 months ago* (12 children)

    I'm 47. I went bald at 15, my beard used to be red now its wizard white, I'm covered with brown fur everywhere. My pubis and balls are vantablack.

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  • [–] 9 points 11 months ago (11 children)

    bald at 15

    Bro. 🫂

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  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (6 children)

    null

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  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago (5 children)

    Quite early indeed.

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  • [–] 0 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

    null

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  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago (3 children)

    Are you trying to take a swing at me with that comment? Trying to call me short? If so, why?

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  • [–] 0 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

    null

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  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

    null

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  • [–] 1 point 11 months ago (2 children)

    Excuse me? I was offering a virtual hug in solidarity. Did I make a mistake?

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    • [–] 3 points 11 months ago

    On the dl

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    [–] 5 points 11 months ago

    I think stretch marks are cute.

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    [–] 5 points 11 months ago

    I'm proud of my stretch marks.

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    [–] 4 points 11 months ago (3 children)

    I think stretch marks are cute! But then, I like big bellies, so it comes with the territory.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago

    That's cool! I think everyone has something they like about themselves, even if it doesn't match what society says is attractive. But hey, as long as you feel good about yourself, that's all that matters!

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    • [–] 3 points 11 months ago

    I love feeling around my girlfriend's stretch marks

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    [–] 1 point 11 months ago

    That's why I always put sunscreen on my balls

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