I came here to say this, but don't believe I could have stated it quite so eloquently. You sir are a gentleman and a scholar.

I had to amend my will because of this.

If my corpse doesn't get shoved into the crematorium slathered in dorito juice I'm gonna screech cosmic truths in the nightmares of my loved ones.

I've had bags that were entirely lacking in flavor dust. Not even at the bottom of the bag, someone else out there got the bulk of my flavor dust. That, or I got a bad run where they decided to cut costs by robbing me of my sodium fix.

I've learned to never trust Doritos or any particular brand of chip ever again.

Iirc I've never tasted doritos, but all the similar chips have been shit at least.

Plain salted tortilla chips can be nice though, given you got some salsa. But that cancerous yellow dust that people seem to enjoy?

Literally, scurvy can kill you

Meh. When they're a dark green they're incredibly sour. They need to be slightly yellowish, then they're amazing.

Honey crisp apples are where it's at. Have never had a bad one

Red Delicious are also consistent. They are always red and always taste like shit.

I can literally only eat Topaz apples at this point. Any other type will just rot in my house until i throw it away. Best variety out there for people that like a lil sour.

Then you ain't eating them often.

Gravenstein on the other hand... they often get heart rot.

They make me accidentally bite my cheek every time I eat one

I have, but it’s real hard. They’re almost always great.

I absolutely have. They can be as mealy as the rest of them

Also the only thing that exists in the suburbs.

There is nothing worse than a soggy or extra sour grape in the bowl

I demand my sequel. [̲̅⁠$̲̅⁠(̲̅⁠ ͡⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠)̲̅⁠$̲̅⁠]

Talking about mealy apples and artificially ripened blueberries. A lot of it depends on where you live.

I spent a couple years in Florida, all the fruit and produce was absolutely amazing. Most of the stuff grew locally or not far away. But by the tme you get to the mid-atlantic, you can't find a fresh tomato shy of a farm stand and the right month, all our fruit ships from south america. When they have to ship produce a long way, you get the under-ripened / artifically ripend crap. The growing seasons are so marginal that you can hardly get local fresh produce.

Not rotten, just bad tasting. You have to taste it.

No, whether you like it or not they are the same