I'll give them full points just for not putting it immediately in front of the door preventing it from being opened, despite the doormat request.

I dunno about malicious, more like dumb request gets dumb results.

I genuinely don't understand this request, is there any size of parcel that is not just an envelope that won't look super obvious under a door mat? Unless you have a cellar door under the mat or something, it makes no sense.

This earns a golf clap. Well done.

first post im seeing after clicking the community. this is peak.

How old is this picture? Pretty sure I see a phone book