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[–] 61 points 1 year ago*

Mr. Wonka, your former lawyers have advised me to pin all the accidents and human/oompa-loompa rights violations on the management at the time of the violations in question.

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  • [–] 47 points 1 year ago (2 children)
  • [–] 44 points 1 year ago (11 children)

    Um, technically no one died

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  • [–] 64 points 1 year ago (9 children)

    Exactly! You turn one girl into a blueberry and everyone loses their minds!

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  • [–] 15 points 1 year ago (6 children)

    I've always assumed that she survives but is horribly disfigured after having her skin stretched so much. Augustus is the one who I think may have died.

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  • [–] 27 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    In the book Violet was put into a giant juice press and squished, leaving her body thin and gangly like someone extruded through Amigara Fault.

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago

    In the movie, none of them died. Wonka verifies it at his office door when he picks up the mail. Charlie asks about the other kids and Wonka says they've been turned back into their terrible nasty selves, but are hopefully wiser for the wear. Wonka then points Charlie and Grandpa Joe to the exit and apologies for not showing them out because he'd already wasted the entire day.

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    [–] 26 points 1 year ago

    Not to mention the property taxes and operating costs of the factory. Fucker is huge, and things like giant fans, chocolate rivers, wonkavision R&D and equipment, and WonkaVaters etc ain't cheap!

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  • [–] 20 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Unpopular opinion: Willy Wonka is on the Epstein List.

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  • [–] 18 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Looks like the OSA is going great.

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    [–] 16 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    It’s okay, you can’t charge an uncle and grand nephew for the same crime

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  • Is that why Wonka got into edibles now? Gotta make that legal weed money

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  • Reminds me of that episode of squidbillies

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