He's wearing a suit for fuck sakes.

A cross without wheels is poor people shit.

You're telling me they didn't even nail him to it after?

Well the entire thing was an insult to whoever wrote Matthew 6:5. Which is a proud Christian tradition, but Americans take it a whole new level.

Probably made of the lightest material possible. That dude is hardly struggling.

Welp, that gif is retired now.

Arrived from the heavens, died for our sins, but in the third season he was resurrected.

And that even though people kept telling him: Jesus, take the wheel!

So. That user name...

To be fair the idiots are the followers. They are very smart scammers.

False. The cross is not self propelled with a $20 a month subscription.

Jesus would have survived crucifixion if he'd tried harder

They didn't have the wheel in the bronze age 🙃

Clearly not a great carpenter.

Simon wouldn't have to help him carry his own cross, what a loser. The poor guy was just standing there.

Most versions of the Bible don't include this part

Work smart not hard. Probably didnt even need to die for 'everyones' sins. Considering most people aren't Christian. The ROI just isnt there.

If Jesus had put that gold, frankincense, and myrth into a Roth IRA and just sat on it. Well, the church wouldn't need an offering plate, Ill tell you that much.

He was just too fucking swole to bother

They hadn't invented the wheel yet. I have a degree in history, so you can trust me.

But it's so heavy though.

Fun fact there's a guy in my area who drags around a cross made of recycled oak pieces (bits of old furniture cut and glued together) every Easter. Apparently he made it out of raw spite about performative and hypocritical Christians, he is mildly insane and was not even vaguely phased by my crazed neo pagan schtick so take of that as you will.

Some go further and abuse it (riding on a notorized cross)

Where I grew up there were three churches on the island.

An episcopal church at one end, a Methodist church in the middle and a catholic at the other end.

The episcopal priest would lug the cross to the Methodist church, the Methodist priest would take it over and lug it to the Catholic Church, then the Catholic priest would lug it up into the church and the theee priests would do a communal church service ahead of Easter.

No wheels.

Community.

Everyone welcome.

This was the church community I grew up in, I’m an atheist now because of what the rest of the churches in the world showed me.

Thorns bite into my skin. And don't get me started on sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating... and it gets everywhere!

Hell isn't real.
But guillotines are.

Let me know when you drop your first album!