I would’ve also accepted “absurdly bright headlights”

Bad internet connection ☝️😌

Or, just, ever. Everyone shut the fuck up so I can enjoy my birds in peace.

If you ever had insomnia and lose sleep it’s wild how fast you can go zero to crazy.

People moving into an expensive apartment on a nightlife strip and complaining about the fucking noise.

Gotta mow the grass before it gets hot!

i.e. alcohol abuse