I've had Chinese girls pretend to message the wrong number and then start talking about cryptocurrency. Does that count?

Chinese spy: (In sexy voice) So what’s in the secret burger sauce?
Me: I am the shield guarding the forbidden knowledge.

I believe in a future where, it doesn't matter where you were raised, what school you attended, whether you make 12 figures or 6, everyone gets a chinese baddie.

The library I work at has so many secrets…

Honestly, can a Chinese spy take my trauma from me?

I live in Japan and get calls in Chinese that are pretending to be the Japanese government immigration division a lot. Well, I used to; I presume that's what my phone has been spam-trapping lately since no one actually calls.

I thought I met a mentally disturbed lady or very shitty spy recruiter once near the embassies in a swanky Tokyo neighborhood. I talked about it to some folks and it turns out I look a lot like one of the guys working at the German embassy at the time. So woman really interested in her visa or shitty spy recruiter.

Wasn't she just trying to make Nvidia more amenable to dealing in China? If having a tryst with a Chinese model and making a bunch of money off of it isn't winning at life, I don't know what is.

Until the divorce settlement comes...

What's wrong with a little pot of honey..