Police: "How high are you?"

Driver: "It's hi, how are you"

“That’s Mister Freeze to you, bub!”

"You had to have been doing at least a hundred to catch me. Don't you know that's dangerous?"

"That was fun! Wanna go again?"

"Don't you know I have places to be? Now, are you finished or are you done?"

“Your eyes look a little red. Have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?”

"Fuck, Larry, every time we get high I start hallucinating that you're a cop."

"I haven't had a cunt all day, Drinkstable."

"Don't be a hero."

JFC, how to get shot in less than 5 seconds. I love it.

For best effect, hold your right arm perpendicular to the car door, hand out of sight. Look 'em right in the eye and deadpan the delivery.

"I've only had teen martoonis!"

What seems to be the officer problem?

If you tell them you're a sovereign nation under international maritime law, they have to immediately let you go.

I recall an Insane Clown Posse skit/track where the officer asks Shaggy2Dope something like, "And where are we going today in such a hurry?"

And Shaggy replied, "Up your Ma's ass".

Which I thought was somewhat amusing, given police pulling people over would only ever receive polite responses from drivers.

Ossifer.

Plata e plomo?