I love their headlines but their articles are total shit these days. Ahhhh memories.

Motion activated ghost was later arrested by ICE agents and deported to an undisclosed location in the land of the living.

Is it the ghost of a Venezuelan fisherman?

The president approached the creepy skull-faced wraith several times with generous, multibillion-dollar offers but was met with nothing more than a frantic waving of bony arms. We do not take these insults lightly, and America will not back down.” Diplomatic observers warned the breakdown in relations could threaten U.S. interests, allowing the giant hairy spider with red LED eyes to swoop in and increase its soft power across the globe

Goddamn I love these writers

To be fair he thinks it's Joe

If this drags us into was with the skeleton army, I'm committing treason