all 56 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 94 points 1 month ago (11 children)

If Jesus came back now the US would keep on killing him until he stayed dead.

  • source
  • hideshow 11 child comments
  • [–] 37 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    US hate brown people and immigrants, of which Jesus was both. You're not wrong.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 7 points 1 month ago

    Incorrect. If Jesus came back today he would be largely ignored. He would most likely end up either homeless or committed to a mental institution. If anyone did realize he was the real Jesus returned to the world there would most likely be a third world war, not between different nations but between different multinational corporations all trying to decide who gets exclusive rights to his name and intellectual property. Nuclear bombs would be dropped to figure out who would own the rights to The Bible with explicit permission to alter, amend, or remove entirely any passages they want. In that case Jesus himself would most likely be kept hidden away in some corporate bunker for fear that he might give another sermon FOR FREE before it can be locked down under an official publishing contract.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 9 points 1 month ago* (3 children)

    Jesus said that when He returns He'll have a Holy Army at His back and they will murder everybody.

    The lake of blood will be miles wide and "as deep as a horse's bridle".

    He won't come back as a hippy. (according to Him)

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    don't make me come over there!

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago*

    Honestly this is my take as a gnostic towards the Zionist Christians (like my parents). You mean you're really gonna kick off the Apocalypse and drag Jesus down here like a toddler demanding attention from daddy? Like they've told me what's going on in the middle east is just part of Jesus coming back. Even if we genuinely assume all of this is 100% true when interpreted 100% literally how in the actual fuck do you think Jesus is gonna be happy to have to be dragged down to save us TWICE.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 26 points 1 month ago

    Hey guys, I found Rasputin!

  • source
  • [–] 24 points 1 month ago

    Well this just isn't fair, like comparing Babe Ruth home runs records to the modern game, he did it all half drunk on wine, dehydrated from smoking herbs in the desert, and without the benefits of HGH.

  • source
  • [–] 38 points 1 month ago

    Slow. Hand. Clap 👏

    Great post.

  • source
  • [–] 34 points 1 month ago* (8 children)

    For anyone that doesn't know:

    She was killed two times and resurrected the same day thus blowing Jesus out of the water when it comes to miracles.

  • source
  • hideshow 8 child comments
  • [–] 15 points 1 month ago* (2 children)

    She wasn't even really that close to death. They accidentally gave her subcutaneous injections instead of intravenous. They couldn't even kill her arm.

    Edit: i mean her heart never stopped.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 15 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    This is because doctors agree to do no harm. Thus, no qualified physician would be involved. Thus one of the many issues with capital punishment.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    She wasn't killed twice. She was incompetently squirted in twice. Stop with the fake news, Mr. Trump.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 16 points 1 month ago (11 children)
  • [–] 23 points 1 month ago (7 children)

    She has died twice and still lives.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 7 child comments
  • [–] 13 points 1 month ago (6 children)

    That's what I already understand after looking at the meme. What is the actual backstory, news source or something?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 36 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    Failed lethal injections.

    Her body is still very broken. It's barbaric.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 48 points 1 month ago (3 children)

    Also extremely incompetent. They were warned she was tricky to put an IV in, tried anyway and fucked it up so the drug went in the muscle instead. Then they just kind of stopped trying and put another shot in the muscle as well. So they fucked up her arms real good, but the poison never went where it was supposed to go.

    I'm guessing the people applying to these jobs probably aren't the cream of the crop. But why would they be?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago

    Christa Pike was sentenced to death. The sentence itself was already fairly controversial, due to some of the details of her case. And now the state has attempted to kill her twice, but they keep fucking up her lethal injection. She has been injured during both attempts, but not killed. She even requested a firing line instead of a lethal injection, because she has a heart condition that will likely prevent the lethal injection from properly stopping her heart. But the state has refused to back down, and keeps injuring her with bad lethal injections instead.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 15 points 1 month ago (15 children)

    was wondering how long it would take someone to pull that comparison from their ass

  • source
  • hideshow 15 child comments
  • [+] -8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (14 children)

    Jesus wasn't a murderer like her

    Edit: Settle down atheists. I'm not here preaching religion. Just pointing out the facts. And stop saying "Well Jesus was also God so he's responsible for tons of deaths" because that is just stupid. There is no God.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 14 child comments
  • [–] 11 points 1 month ago* (1 child)

    The facts are Jesus said He murdered everybody (the flood) and that when He comes back He will murder everybody again (the Apocalypse).

    This is all from the Holy Bible. Not atheists. So don't panic and cry

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago

    What the mythical figure of Jesus said is what writers of the following centuries wanted him to say. There's historical evidence of floods, but I doubt the average person in 30AD would know about them. Can you give me a source on that? Also, a source of him talking about the Apocalypse?

    We're speaking purely of the historical figure, who preached a new religion that offended both the Jews (of which he was one) and the Romans. Everything that was written afterwards in some silly holy book is unreliable and tainted.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 9 points 1 month ago (6 children)

    Since Jesus is also God he's technically a murderer and a mass murderer at that

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 6 child comments
  • [–] 3 points 1 month ago (4 children)

    God doesn't exist. So your argument is invalid.

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 4 child comments
  • [–] 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

    Gandalf doesn't exist either, but he does have an established canon

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
  • [–] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    If he is god, how dare he not stop at least the harvest of atrocities committed every day?

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

    I'm currently being screamed at for daring to have empathy for this woman. What even is my life?

  • source
  • hideshow 2 child comments
  • [–] [S] 5 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    its hard for people to not understand you can have multiple feelings towards people at a single time.

    empathy for what their going through now does not mean you support what they did 40+ years ago

  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 2 points 1 month ago

    I had a rough childhood full of trauma and I know first hand how that shit can twist your mind into not to nice things. She grew up with worse horror than me. Not condoning what she did, but understand that she was a traumatized child too.

  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 4 points 1 month ago

    Not just killed, executed

  • source
  • 1 comment in c/dankchristianmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone view that post
    [–] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

    I’m all for this. The christian nationalists will stroke out and thus make the world a better place

  • source