Classic textbook example of what happens when theory meets absolute field reality. The funny thing is, even attempting this wouldn't bypass the locking mechanism it would just weld the frame to the contacts, blow the local thermal-magnetic breaker, and leave everyone in the dark

Exactly. Any professional working on real installations knows that cell locks run on dedicated, isolated low-voltage safety circuits with battery backups and fail-secure mechanisms. Trying to short a standard 230V or 120V convenience outlet with non-conductive material wouldn't do anything to the locks—it would just blow the upstream protective device or trigger the RCD/GFCI, creating an immediate electrical hazard without affecting facility security at all