Jokes don't necessarily make you an asshole, even with sensitive topics, it's about good faith in it being light-hearted. Jokes bridge the gap in talking about topics that are uncomfortable normally.

For example, I have a good friend who is disabled who I game with. My friend group calls him Cripple, and I'll also give him a hard time about by mentioning things about his specific handicap and he'll call me an ableist fuck, but he knows it's not being said in a mean way.

What's worse to him? Being treated different just because he's handicapped. He'd rather have that banter and feel like part of the group, not isolated.