😬
That's like...a normal thing, right? Right?? Cause you can see if you made a mistake, if you actually said what you wanted to say and not some gibberish instead...right?? I'm normal, aren't I???

TMI, trauma tangentI have...bad thoughts. Sometimes. Well, pretty often. They're the kind of thoughts that people who went through horrible things sometimes have. Thoughts that...are supposed to make them "feel in control" of what's happened to them, if I understand it correctly.

But...I don't remember anything. I don't think I have any trauma. As hard as I try to search my memory, nothing comes up. Nothing like that, nothing traumatizing. Nothing "bad". And that's why it doesn't make sense to me. I don't know why I'm like this.

I mean the only thing I remember is my step-dad very briefly groping my ass when we were getting off the subway when I was younger, but that's it. And I don't even feel any trauma from that. Nothing bad happened to me. And still they won't stop...

I should get a therapist...

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[–] 6 points 20 hours ago (4 children)

I can't talk on the phone at all because of trauma and autistic fear of being perceived. I don't know if you're neurodivergent, but if you are, I've read that neurodivergent people are much more sensitive to trauma. A seemingly normal event that wouldn't be traumatizing for neurotypical can traumatizing for neurodivergent people. The fact that you can't remember also suggests you might have trauma. Either way, sending you all of the internet hugs, feel better!

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 20 hours ago (1 child)

    Thank you girlie 🫂
    I don't think I'm neurodivergent. I'm not exactly normal, but I think I'm just weird :P
    With all my flaws and quirks, it probably must really seem like I have a bit of the 'tism, but I don't think I do.
    In any case, thank you 💜

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  • [–] 2 points 20 hours ago (1 child)

    I’ve read that neurodivergent people are much more sensitive to trauma.

    Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.

    Anti-anxiety medicine has helped me a bit, but I'm still not fond of phone calls.

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  • [–] 2 points 6 hours ago

    Not to mention living in a world that doesnt make space for neurodivergence is inherently traumatic. So many of us get intense messaging that we're "wrong" from so many angles (if not from family, from school; if not from school, from peers; if not from peers, from coworkers; etc.) And its profoundly damaging.

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