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How do I stop envying prettier women? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 day ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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I honestly hate myself for still feeling this way at 23. Whenever I’m out, I always feel like the ugliest girl in the room, and it literally makes me feel completely worthless. It sucks watching how nicely everyone treats beautiful women. Nobody ever says anything mean to them. Guys are always looking out for them, and other girls always have their back. They get this pass in life that I’ve never had. No one has ever helped or protected me except my parents.I’ve learned to just rely on myself, because my parents won't be around forever and nobody else gives a damn about me. Maybe this is how it should be.

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[–] 34 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I mean this is easy - start intentionally going to places where “looking good” isn’t the organizing principle.

Find a hobby - hiking, gardening, books, pets. Hang out with people who value and are interested in things you value and are interested in. If you have something interesting to say and someone is interested- suddenly you have a much more interesting connection than “he thinks I’m hot”.

It seems great to have people treat you well because you are pretty - but in reality it means they don’t give two shits about who you are or what you think and will be dishonest with you to try to get in your pants.

Most pretty women really suffer when they get older and lose that “free pass” because the only social skill they ever learned was “look good”. If you learn to really listen and care about others, to be a good friend, to make people laugh - learn how to be an appealing person in a way that has nothing to do with looks. It will give you a much much more satisfying life for much much longer.

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  • [–] 12 points 23 hours ago* (4 children)

    When I see a trophy wife I often think what a sad lonely place it must be.

    Never feeling enough and the anxiety of having to look good. Never having a true voice. A bird in a cage.

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  • [–] 1 point 9 hours ago* (1 child)

    What are you talking about?

    You realize many women aspire to be trophy wives, precisely because they don't want to do anything other in life other than look good and play pretend?

    and generally, that's what 'life' is for most people. most social relationships are performances.

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