Some men have told me I was crazy to pass up the "opportunity". And some women have told me that I was a "gentleman" for doing so.

I don't know why men are so awful sometimes. But I think a big part of the problem is that taking advantage of women is normal and accepted.

The term "rape culture" is often misunderstood, lampooned, etc. but that's a really good distillation of it. SA is not "encouraged" in a legal sense, it's punished, but there is a cultural expectation of men to be uncontrollably sexually aggressive while women are supposed to "defend their virtue".

If men aren't sufficiently sexually assertive, they are often seen as less masculine. This isn't always the case - it can support the conception of masculinity as being chivalrous. But can also be viewed as being more passive, less virile, less strong, etc.

If women are perceived not successfully "defending their virtue", it's seen as a failure on their part except sometimes in extreme cases of sexual violence if seen as being "unprovoked". Hence the "look what she was wearing", "asking for it", etc. etc. tropes. These are often less overt now, which causes people to overlook the extent to which they blame women for being victims of SA.

Rape culture - it's defo a thing and that's it.