Is joining the largest monolithic mass of your community the only worthwhile way to engage with it? Are there not parts of your community you can engage with outside of Discord? Certain individuals that understand or at least accept the niche concept of privacy and would be willing to communicate through better channels? Local offline events or groups you can engage with? What are you afraid of missing out on?

You talk about me being insufferable, yet it were your messages that were loaded with judgement and implied insults from the very start.