You do you, but you seem like one of those grandmas paying money to "plant seeds" so that the television church man can totally cure you of cancer by some miracle while he flies around on a private jet, because the reality is messy and complicated and hard, even in the best of times. I know you're looking not to pay money, but i doubt there'll be anything but an upsell that you'll find at the bottom of this botrle, and you might be in deeper by then.

I hope for better times ahead for you regardless.