Sigh. I don't know where to start or what do I need to ask here even at all.

So, I have joined a new workplace and I just don't know how to interact with people. Most of the time I don't feel the energy to interact. But being shutdown feels not very socially acceptable behavior nor I feel it would do any good to me.

First two weeks, I didn't talk with anyone at all. Only one or two interactions here and there that's about it. After I did manage to get into small group of employees who've joined recently and they allowed me to join their social circle.

At this point, I thought I was gonna be okay and will improve at socialising. But even after a month, I still feel this feeling of being subhuman level at socialising. I feel so different, I feel so not normal. I feel everyone are just better at socialising. They got this nailed down somewhere down their lives but somehow I just missed it.

I just don't know what to do. I don't have confidence in my voice either so most of the time I try to end conversations with few words. Idk anything really.

Edit: Wow, I didn't expect this much reception to this post especially since it was very messy how I explained my problem. But you guys surprised me, haha. Thank you all for your advice. I'm reading every one of your replies! I love this community.

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[–] 6 points 1 week ago

So. There are two issues here.

One is finding topics to talk about. This is what small talk is for. "The weather" is a dumb topic, but it leads to all sorts of things. "Nice weather, did you do anything cool outside on the weekend?" "Bad weather, how did you cope?"

Socializing is like throwing balls back and forth as a game. You try to do something with the "ball" they throw at you and throw a question or a comment or a little story back at them. But also, if you initiate and they don't want to play the socializing game (because they're tired or busy or something), that's it, no socializing.

The voice and speaking thing is something else. Not sure how to advise on that. I don't understand having "no confidence in your voice". Do you mean you're too quiet? Sounds like more of a therapy thing. Maybe a choir or theater hobby group could help you? It's probably just practice, so you should seek a place where you get that practice and train your voice?

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