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Damned if you do, damned if you don't: Mother charged after police say she left 4 children home alone during Las Vegas trip (local12.com)
submitted 1 week ago by to c/childfree@lemmy.world
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For context, she had a babysitter coming in the mornings to check in, make lunches, get them off to school, and prep dinner for them. All the 14 year old had to do was help them get inside after school. Microwave dinner. Get kids in bed and text mom updates. This was a work trip and they threatened to fire her if she did not go. The father has abuse charges and the police handed him their kids on top of arresting her.

Why exactly should women have kids in a world that despises them for it and yet demands they make kids anyway? What is the point?

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[–] 5 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Part of the issue here is the whole overcompensating for systemic inadequacies in CPS. There are so many stories of CPS dropping the ball on the other side of the equation. Then a mom let's their kids walk to school and gets arrested. Or a mom has her 14yo look after their siblings while she is away on business. How does arresting a parent help them care for their kids?

Worst, in this case, is that Dad didn't have custody for a reason. And now the kids are with Dad.

That being said, 14 is not old enough for that level of responsibility. Watch their siblings while Mom and Dad go on a date? Sure. Be responsible for most of the family's well-being while Mom is completely out of town? At 14? That's too much. I doubt anything would have changed if there was a babysitter or guardian there. That doesn't change the fact that 14 is too young to be fully responsible for kids over a span of days. Still doesn't justify arresting her. That's just grandstanding bullshit

I really feel for this woman, because she really is screwed either way. There's no winning. Especially if she doesn't have family to call on to help. But now, instead of losing her job, she has to fight charges, fight to get her kids back, and (knowing how these things go) likely have to find a new job. It's a real kick in the ovaries.

Get me out of this timeline, please

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  • [–] 6 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    Your points you've made show me that you either didn't read the article; or are too inept to comprehend what you've read.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 week ago

    Nah I 100% didn't read the article. I'm pretty inept too. Care to enlighten me on what I got wrong? Aside from thinking 14 year olds shouldn't be responsible for taking care of three kids for 5 days and nights, that's an opinion

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  • [–] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 child)

    On s upon a time a 13 year old was considered an adult, a young adult but still capable of making rational decisions (like babysitting children and self care). It's funny that you're saying she's screwed either way because she wouldn't be if people like you were rational. It's not ideal to have to leave for work, but it's not like she left toddlers alone, she hired professional adult supervision in addition to the supervision of the teens. Some of the adults in your life were latchkey children who walked themselves to school and handled their own affairs. You should speak to them and ask them about it. Some of those adults babysat family and friends children as young adults themselves far before they could drive.

    Attitudes like yours destroy communities and the next generations independence. Fuck learned helplessness.

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  • [–] 3 points 1 week ago

    she wouldn't be if people like you were rational

    First off, you don't know a god-damned thing about me. Second, its Florida, no rational person would live in America's wang. Thirdly I don't think prosecuting someone for making a parental judgement call is in any way okay. This ignorant country is so fixated on punitive measures that it creates more problems than it solves. If a parent screws up, educate them, don't jail them. (Unless there is actual abuse or neglect, like CSA or starvation). Fourthish… I forgot, but it was salient and concise

    To your broader point tho. It's not so much learned helplessness, it's knowledge gained over time. Yes we took care of ourselves as teens and preteens. Yes us latch key kids mostly were fine, and taking care of our siblings wasn't a big dangerous thing, just annoying. (For the record, I was latch-key from the age of 12) We also know a whole hell of a lot more about when and how a brain matures, including how a developing frontal lobe isn't capable of extrapolating the full consequences of an action the way a mature adult can. Saying we were fine so nothing should change is like saying cars were fine without airbags so we shouldn't have them now. I think most kids would be fine, but some won't. Are those kids being harmed ok, as long as the majority is fine?

    Attitudes like yours destroy brain cells and the next generation of critical thinking. Doesn't that broad sweeping statement sound silly? It's not all or nothing. I came to the conclusion that 14 is too immature to care for children for multiple days without a safety net. That's it. Everything else is a statement on societal issues, not how kids have to be hovered over to protect them.

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