Yeah, I think this failure to equally invest in girly games comes in large part from the fact that women are expected to be comfortable partaking in things considered masculine, and men are expected to be uncomfortable partaking in things considered feminine. Feminist theorist Julia Serrano talked about parts of this where because masculinity is regarded more positively violations of gendered expectations are seen as less bad when it's women embracing masculinity. This of course is also because of many years of hard fighting for women to be permitted these things, but as she notes things associated with femininity are seen as frivolous, tainted by their association with women. Thus she posited that a necessary step towards gender equality is the fight for feminine things to be seen as valuable and acceptable for men to want without a status hit. Sorry for bringing theory into this, but your comment really drew to mind her ideas.
And yeah I was in college during gamergate, where being a woman who games on console/pc went from bad but seemingly improving to so much worse. It led to me and my friends regardless of gender generally stopping using the term gamer to describe ourselves and avoiding "gaming" spaces for the most part.
And yeah I love some fpses. Me and my then gf used to play overwatch together, it was toxic but overwatch was popular enough with women and moderated enough it didn't get that bad (unlike valorant). Personally I prefer them to be campaigny and story focused: Halo (the good ones) of course remains a classic, ths Borderlands series has consumed far too much of my life, and I bonded with my sister as I played bioshock as a teenager. Make something like mass effect but an fps and most of the women I know that game will be all over that shit.
And yeah, I mostly play indies, I'm loving Fields of Mistria (it's kinda like stardew), I've sank a concerning number of hours into Binding of Isaac, anything by Supergiant (Bastion, Transistor, Hades, etc) is an insta buy for me, Rogue Legacy 2 is criminally underrated, Gris was the perfect game to play by candlelight… Really I just like my games having art in their design and writing as well as roguelikes. And I know a lot of women with similar tastes to me.
In general though I avoid competitive gaming unless playing with friends, because I'm not very good and the toxicity is so horrendous.