I was kind of excited to learn that AuDHD was a thing, because I've failed both the autism test and the ADHD test, but the reality is that it is not a thing. The only thing that changed was you can be both fully autistic spectrum and fully ADHD. There's no official hybrid category to straddle the two.

It's a bummer for me because I think AuDHD perfectly explains everything that is horribly wrong in my life, mostly around work: I don't get along with coworkers, so I never get promoted and often I get fired. I see a problem, I point it out. I'm honest even during job interviews, which are very stressful.

On the attention side, I don't really do well with repetitive tasks. If I can listen to podcasts all day, I'm OK, but if it's just staring at a counter waiting for customers to come in, that's pretty hellish. I also don't have much in the way of special interests. Every once in a while, the fever will take me and I'll learn programming or kayak-building or instrument-making or instrument-playing or languages, but the drive to really crank that is more typical of autism is lacking, so when I'm faced with long periods of time, I do very little (averaging 30 comments/day for the last 5 months!). And during that long period, I sometimes pick up career books about "finding your passion," but I mostly put them down pretty quickly.

I've been unemployed for 3 months. I'm afraid to apply for jobs, not just because of the rejection, but because I'll be getting back on this treadmill of unbearable jobs where I will eventually fail, will make no friends, will garner no references.

I hate going to the mental healthcare system, which has done absolutely nothing to resolve or even acknowledge the root cause or even the root problem. I've been called very intelligent and promising and capable. I've also been saddled with harmful diagnoses like bipolar and put on meds which make me lose what little contact I have with my emotional world.

Just to put this into context: I'm over 50 years old and this is the same exact problem I had in high school and college and ever since, just a real inability to figure out what I want to do, even in my own spare time. And it's the source of everything else. I need to work to live, and if working is difficult, it is obviously hard to live, and that will obviously have an impact on my mood. "Great," says the useless mental health system, "mood is something we can easily diagnose and medicate!"

Yet, if that is the core problem, there really isn't any treatment for it, but at least a diagnosis would open up some benefits (and maybe a free train ride to a Kennedy-run camp in the future), but that is probably beyond my reach.

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[–] 2 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You have a number of similarities with me. I don't struggle to understand or get along with people, but I've also done a lot of reading to learn about communication and relationships. I have many changing special interests, but each time I get a new one I hyperfocus on it for a while. Then the interest dies and I'm sad again until the spirit possesses me and I'm off to learn some new thing. I'm also very honest and usually can't hold myself back from pointing out problems or making corrections.

I had to do specific research to find a local doctor who specialized in diagnosing ADHD. I was sick of doctors who'd judge in less than an hour, "you don't seem like my ADHD patients so you don't have it." I told the specialist about those experiences and she made sure to do a very detailed analysis. If not for that, even she would have overlooked the ADHD (the autism is more obvious).

I'm gifted and also have CPTSD, so when you add that to being both autistic and ADHD, I just mask it too well. I passed for normal on the tests, but when the doctor looked closer, she did see enough evidence to make a strong case. The self and family questionnaires certainly suggested it, but she needed to find some more concrete evidence. By analyzing my test performance, she found a habitual pattern where I pass the tests, but right at the end of each I get careless and make a few mistakes that someone of my intelligence should really never make, let alone consistently. It was her assessment that I can mask through the test, but it takes enough effort that I'm exhausted by the end. So I let my guard down when the end is in sight and make dumb mistakes.

It's no wonder it took until 42 to get the diagnosis.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    The ADHD test really bothers me. Like, it's a brand new thing I'm doing, and the results are measurede and I get feedback on it. Of fucking course I'm going to pay attention!

    And that's just another example of psychology testing being a boondoggle. If I could just have kept all the math exams where I got half the answers WRONG, but I did all the work RIGHT but just made an error in calculation ....

    But, yes, I'm not going to waste my time with a psychologist who wouldn't diagnose autism without hearing "Bazinga!"

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  • [–] 1 point 1 week ago

    Yeah, it's very maskable. And if you're a late diagnosis, you've got pretty good masking skills. That's why a true professional doesn't just give you the test: they monitor you during the test to look for other signs. I was genuinely afraid of winding up at a place that just fobbed the entire diagnosis off on a computerized test. With good reason!

    I mention my case because it was so hard to get the correct diagnosis, and I still only barely did. The system is really not designed to handle adults at all, let alone the more complicated ones. So I want to encourage people to trust themselves and their own experiences. The tests do get it wrong.

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