It was and is Hell. Thank God I was brave enough to choose such a life as Moses and Jesus, to be an unloved, loved child, because obviously it is the trials we undertake that make us what we are in these biological incarnations, and superpositional beings, well, we bitches ain't made living in ivory towers or the shit huts of the Earth. We need to understand the totality of the human condition to notice white rabbit (synchronicity, as Carl Jung called it; what a "burning bush" is in reference of in the Bible), to thus be of use to the Ālaya-vijñāna, that which Jesus called his Father, from which we grow, not as Atman drawn as vases from the Brahman ocean of consciousness, but at beads on the vertices of Indra's Net - that which a Roman Dodecahedron is a pedagogical object meant to teach such concepts, obviously.