Independent Minnesota US Senate candidate Marisa Simonetti, 32, has been sentenced to three months in the Hennepin County workhouse after throwing a live tarantula onto the staircase leading to her tenant's living space in Edina. She was convicted of gross misdemeanour harassment and misdemeanour domestic assault and will serve her 90-day sentence on school and work release. The court also ordered her to serve two years of probation and submit a written apology to the victim.

Simonetti's sentence comes as she campaigns for a seat in the US Senate, hoping to replace Tina Smith in the November 2026 Minnesota election. Her candidacy has drawn further attention after a video she posted of herself confronting a Girl Scout and the child's mother over selling cookies without a permit went viral, putting her own conduct under public scrutiny.

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[–] [S] 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Showed the headline to a friend and asked him what he thought she did for a living.

'Realtor' was his first guess.

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  • [–] 19 points 1 month ago (1 child)

    She's even worse than that, she's a professional parasite. She runs a "home buying firm," which means she routinely fucks people out of an average of $50,000 per transaction. To accomplish this, she uses media (TV, billboards, print, social) to convince homeowners of a lie (they will make the same if not more money using homebuyer services than using the conventional real estate process) by telling them a truth (the transaction will be fast and they will have money in their hands in just a few days).

    It's an amazing feat of leveraging human desire to absolutely fuck the dogshit out of them: they willingly believe the lie because they want the money in their hands quickly and in so doing, they get fucked out of five figures.

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