And somehow magically all corporate product names land the one you want
No, it's not magic, it's called marketing, market research, and psychology. There are literally billions of dollars that go into advertising, do you think they just magically come up with names?
all fediverse or FOSS inventions land the one you don't
Literally never once claimed that. Mastodon is a little long but at least it's satisfying and conjures up images of a big fuzzy creature instead of a rodent.