It's genuinely depressing you're so creatively stifled that you haven't encountered a task that meets those conditions yourself and instead have to retreat to these middleschool-tier insults, but hey, if you're gonna throw down a mitten in challenge, who am I to refuse?
Novel reporting across diverse data systems! That's not even a mid developer task, that's intern shit - and good luck getting an agent to deal with that one lmao.