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What should I do (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 month ago by to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/48324879

I really want to start HRT, but I'm scared I'll regret not doing sperm freezing first. The problem is it's expensive and I'm still on my parents' insurance while I'm in university and coming out to them did not go very well. I've already put it off for like 2 years because of this and I'm getting so tired of waiting. I'm also really really worried about losing my hair if I don't start soon because my family has a history of baldness on both sides

I feel like these are my options:

  • Just start HRT and if I really want a non-adopted child I can try pausing and hope that works. Plus adoption is probably ethically a better choice anyway
  • Pay out of pocket for a mail order service like Legacy (which I've read both good and bad things about). It would be a lot of money but I could pay for it. I'm just worried they might not be as trustworthy as a local place
  • Wait even longer to have the money to pay for storage at a local bank. People say they tend to be better but the one near me is so much more expensive
  • Try to come out to my parents again so I can use insurance. They weren't like as bad as some people's experiences when I tried the first time, but all my mom would talk about is complaining about how this will affect her because she claims her "identity is having a son" and she doesn't want me to "mutilate my body" and my dad wasn't actively mean but didnt like try to get her to be nice or really say much.

My friend says I should just try to come out to my parents again or just not worry about it but I just really hate conflict and don't know how to try again and I also get so anxious over everything so I feel like it would be hard to not worry about it.

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[–] 4 points 1 month ago (1 child)

uh i really get your sentiment, and i would go full-in on estrogen HRT if it wasn't that it would conflict with a whole lot of other life goals.

the thing with the infertility is really worrying me, and i can't bring myself to trust a doctor with my sperm, and i just kind of don't feel comfortable with going on at this point. (it's not just about that, but this is a big issue that i can see)

what i've found for me is a compromise solution: i've started taking finasteride a few months ago. it blocks DHT which is the active form of testosterine in the body, so it does block hair loss and does also improve a whole lot of other things, such as skin softness, smell etc; the advantage is that it does not cause infertility, and also it doesn't cause massive boob growth (mild boob growth is still possible, though).

so basically i've postponed the decision to start taking estrogen for undefined X years, and this is just an intermediary solution until i've made up my mind in a more permanent way. i think the same strategy would fit your use-case as well.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 month ago*

    plus it's much easier to obtain; you don't need to go through 2-3 years of hassle to get estrogen through the medical system; skin doctors will prescribe it to you if you just go there once and claim that you have an itching feeling on the scalp and that you're worried about early scalp hair loss as your parents had. then you go to the pharmacy to buy the pills, one package (of 30 pills) costs about $10 and lasts for 4 months (you split each pill into 1/4 to get the right dosage).

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