I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel what you feel at times, being trans is really hard.
But I really truly hope you can get out of this pit. I promise you, you are very pretty. Also, most people are not that evil, and a lot of people probably see you as a woman, how often do you actually get gendered in public? If I can get gendered correctly by strangers, you sure as hell can, and even if you don't (which I fail to believe is true), that's their problem. Also also, you can't steal oxygen from anybody, and even if you could, you sure as hell deserve to live more than some people, just take a look at the most evil people alive today (you know what I mean), if they are still living you have no excuse, you deserve to outlive them. You are not a monster, you are a super kind-hearted, very feminine girl, and I am not exaggerating when I say that.
I wish I could give you a really big hug, but I can't (probably, I don't know). Please promise me you'll find some people you can confide in, turn up to a social event or something where you'll know there will be other trans people, I know it's hard but PLEASE don't stay isolated.