I'll admit, the method of communication does not help. There are things in the comments that are aggressive and agitating to people who read it. It does not seem conductive to the cause.

But you're not a fool for expressing emotions. No one is. The people who find emotions are weak are the kind of people who capitalism enables and rewards. They get far in life because they don't care about humans. That's all positions of power, the further you go up, the more distanced from humans you are.

I'm personally more of an anarchist than a Marxist, but I don't view you as en enemy. You're someone in a stressful situation and you lashed out. Mistakes happen, we can only learn from them.

I can't offer much, I have to pretend to get sleep soon. I wish I could give you something warm to drink and a hug. I would advice some grounding techniques, deep breaths, and maybe a show you really enjoy. Or some dumb YouTube shit.

I wish you luck, and I hope you're able to recover soon. I don't wish to say it will get better. That's a promise I can't keep and I refuse to make those. All I can say is that hopefully in a year or two, you can look back and reflect on how it seemed hopeless then.

Things aren't okay for me either. I have support networks of my family and friends. I don't know if I'd be typing this back to you at... [Stares at clock] 3:30 am if I didn't have them. My past has some wild shit from manic episodes and shit I did when I lashed out in anger, rage, and fear.

But I hope you're able to take a breather from here. Lemmy is better than reddit. But that's not saying much. I wish I could lend you more.