ah, it's alright. I thought the situation was you opening up to new opportunities. and it's OK not to be ready for that, take whatever time you need, they will still be out there.

I lived a similar situation in the past, and I was certainly reluctant to open up to new friendships in my late thirties, but one day I took a chance on a local message board, and ended up meeting a very nice group of people that enjoyed my hobby and now I have monthly to bimonthly meetups with them, and through those we've meet each other's families, travel together, helped each other move, birthdays, and funerals.

It's great to have friends again, makes me really happy.