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We focus on the important stuff (feddit.uk)
submitted 2 months ago by to c/Couplememes@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 23 points 2 months ago (9 children)

I'm ... Not sure I've ever had nine friends. I mean, there are a bunch of people I talk to online and I'm grateful for their presence ... But it's hard for me to imagine going on a trip with nine people and enjoying it. Harder still to imagine them being interested.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 months ago (5 children)

    Yeah...... I think there might be a correlation to why he has no idea what's going on in their lives.

    In my experience really large friend groups like this are typically the result of something like a frat house or some kind of club. It's more activity based than it is cemented by any sort of deep emotional relationship.

    I'm not really a fan, I prefer more meaningful relationships. I only get to see my best friends like 1 a year, but I am also friends with their partner, I know what they are teaching this semester, I talk to them about their research and let them bounce ideas off me, and we try and make time for each other. To me having a friend I don't have a deep emotional relationship with is like making small talk about weather to strangers.

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  • [+] 5 points 2 months ago (1 child)
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  • [–] 1 point 2 months ago

    It just rubs me the wrong way a little to discount frats and clubs as places to form meaningful relationships when it’s been the best place for me to do so.

    I didn't say they couldn't be meaningful, just that they weren't very meaningful to me, and that they seemed to lack deep emotional connections.

    As you said most of you hadn't really connected since the last trip and didn't have much to share as far as life updates.

    I don't really see that as having a deep emotional connection. I'm closer to my best friend than I am with my family. I know how they are doing, what they are struggling with, we talk about our relationships, our careers, and our families. I can trust them implicitly with my health, wealth, and happiness and they can count on me to do the same for them.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Well, I'm curious, what are they teaching and researching?

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    I once made a list of all the people I grab coffee with and stuff. It’s like 10-15 people. Once I took away work-related stuff and people I only see occasionally, it’s like 5-7 people. Out of those 7, only 3 are what I would consider a close friend. Only 1 of those 3 is my best friend who will hear everything about my life.

    So, I could say “I have 15 friends” but that would be inaccurate depending on how one interprets the word “friend.”

    My whole point is, some people will exaggerate the number to seem cooler, others may say “friend” when they only see that person 3 times a year.

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